10 People Ready For The Rapture

Comments: 21  | Leave A Comment

So the rapture is coming and the world is ending tomorrow. Here are the people gullible enough to believe that or bad enough to go to hell anyway.

10. Chris Stokes. Sexual molestation is a vicious cycle, two people from B2K, who Chris Stokes is alleged to have molested are now accused of molesting people themselves. Singer Quindon Tarver accused stokes protege, Marques Houston of having sex with him while he was only a teenager. Raz-B who claims that Stokes molested him, was recently alleged to have molested a boy in China.

9. Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin is great for the news but bad for America. She’s hilarious but the fact that people take here seriously is not. She’s kooky enough to believe that the rapture is coming so give her some kool aid and some Nikes.

8. Herman Cain. Now that Steele’s gone, in the immortal words of Ice Cube, “they’ll have a new n-word this year.” Who is he? The Black republican? What’d he do? Ran Godfather Pizza? What does he stand for? Whatever the Tea Party stands for. What does the Tea Party stand for? Racism. Go to hell.

7. Glenn Beck. Glenn Beck is nuttier than Russell Crowe in a beautiful mind. I’m sure he’s bought his gold for when the rapture when the New World Order starts and the rapture comes.

6. Bishop Eddie Long. Unlike Stokes, Long waited for his male victims to be of age until he allegedly had sex with them. But its not his sex life that’s taking Eddie Long to hell, its his religious life. Long takes advantage of poor Christ fearing people and has them pay for his fancy, cars, clothes and trips with young men.

5. Michelle Bachman. This right wing lunatic is supporting Israel because she believes the Jews need to be in their homeland for the rapture to happen. She needs a pair of some red Nikes and some Jim Jones Kool Aid.

4. Rush Limbaugh. I have never seen a man full of more ignorance and hate than Limbaugh. If Obama cured AIDS, Limbaugh would criticize him for pandering to homosexuals. If Obama said the rapture was not coming today, Limbaugh and his dittoheads would get ready for the spaceships and jump in the river to try and prove him wrong.

3. Ron Paul. Paul’s fans/supporters are so cult like in their adoration/deification of Paul that they believe he can do no wrong and that anybody who criticizes him is part of a New World Order conspiracy. I’m sure if Paul said that the New World Order was coming, he could make millions selling Kool-Aid from his website.

2. Lil Wayne. Lil Wayne is ready for the rapture with his face tattoos as markings. He likens himself to a goblin and looks like the crypt keeper. I’m sure he would put some sizzurp with his Kool Aid and get ready for the rapture if it was the gangsta thing to do.

1. Osama Bin Laden. Surely Osama will be greeted with 70 virgins in the afterlife. 70 Male virgins to taunt him as he burns in hell.

Join the Conversation! Share on Facebook!

Comments

blog comments powered by Disqus