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President Obama isn’t the most popular man in the country according to many polls right now, so a gift is probably the last thing he’s expecting aside from the people in his inner circle.

But we wanted to come up with a list of things we think he needs after going through 2 stressful years in the White House.

5. Just For Men Hair Dye

Presidents are supposed to have full sets of hair, but some do lose it as we’ve seen throughout history when in in office. Some will go to tinting their like Clinton did with gray, or Reagan did with Black. George Bush’s approval rating dropped at the same rate his gray hairs grew. Let’s hope the same doesn’t apply to Barack.

Let’s take a quick picture of Barack’s hair in 08 and now.

It is clear that Barack has been dying his hair.


4. A Baseball Bat

Malia Obama will be going to high school soon and there will be a bunch of horny, teenage boys lining up for a chance to say they dated the president’s daughter. A baseball bat at the White House door should handle any unwanted attention.

3. The Book “Jerks at Work: How to Deal With People, Problems and Problem People”

While most people have to deal with obnoxious, bossy, stubborn opinionated co-workers, nothing can compare to the Tea Party Republicans who would sink the country just to spite him. Maybe this book could help him deal with them.

2. A Cuban Cigar

While Obama has to hide his cigarette habit and still takes heat for it, Bill Clinton is a big cigar aficionado and never took any slack for it; except for the time he used it on that famed intern.

A Cuban cigar would let Obama get his tobacco in peace, and help him stop the trade embargo on Cuba.

1. An Apple

Not the fruit, the company.

Apple has more money than the U.S. government.

If Obama owned Apple, he would be able to pay all our debts and get the economy back on track.

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