I once had a fling with a woman that claimed, claimed (I feel the need to stress the word ‘claimed’-for legal reasons that I probably don’t even understand) to have had sex with NBA Hall of Famer James Worthy.
I immediately became a super-fan.
“James Worthy!” I screamed. “Wow!!! Was he…? Is he…? Did he go right to the…? Wait.”
Personally, I’ve never slept with a celebrity. The closest I’ve ever come (pardon the obvious and distasteful pun) is the fringes. However, I’ve met several women that have seen nothing at all wrong with telling me about the famous men they’ve slept with.
Like I mentioned in yesterday’s blog, I once went to a club in Oakland with Terrell Owens. Jay-Z’s “Who You Wit” was on the system and I was on the dance floor with what Juvenile would have certainly termed a “big fine woman.” I was feeling her, so I asked her, you know, what was up. She made a face as if I’d spit a big glob of saliva right on her blue suede shoes and said in a tone that I guess she figured would be self-explanatory, “I used to date Roger Craig.”
I’m still trying to figure that one out.
Then of course, there was the time that I was in a room full of guys and hookers (real hookers; pros. I’m not just using a slur) and one of the hookers said- completely unprovoked, “I once slept with (the greatest NFL linebacker ever)!” I jokingly asked her if the experience counted towards his sack totals, but afterwards, I grabbed a beer and sat quietly for the rest of the evening.
The thing I don’t get though is how I (or anyone) is supposed to feel when they get sexual name-dropped on.
My question then, I guess, becomes three-part: 1) Have you ever slept with a celebrity? 2) Have you ever sexual name-dropped? 3) Have you ever been sexual name-dropped on?
I feel so alone…