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Makeda Pennycooke

By now you’ve heard of Pastor Makeda Pennycooke who made national headlines, after sending an e-mail to parishioners that “only White people” should greet visitors at the 9:00 a.m. service at Freedom House Church. Why? Presumably because colored people wouldn’t be greeting visitors until 9:15 a.m. at the earliest.

RELATED: Black Pastor Requests ‘Only White People’ Greet Church Visitors [VIDEO]

In all seriousness — or, I should say, as serious as one can be in a stupid story like this — Pastor the White Man’s Ice Is Cooler wrote the following:

We anticipate having an increase in the number of people visiting and attending Freedom House over the next few weeks.

So what’s the issue at hand?

Well, “first impressions matter” and the church should seek to put “the best of the best on the front doors.”

Where is JJ Evans’ picture of Ned the Wino as Black Jesus when you need it?

Pastor Yeah, I Luv Dem Whites continued:

We are continuing to work to bring our racial demographic pendulum back to mid-line. So we would like to ask that only White people be on the front doors.

In other words, in order to court White people, Pastor Keep It Bright and White believes that only Whites can attract other White people. That may very well apply to some Whites, but why place the burden on the people who don’t harbor any racial prejudices? Why court people who would feel alienated by people of different races?

One parishioner addressed the matter with WBTV, saying of Pastor White on White on White, “Perhaps you believe that with a certain congregation that eventually your finances are going to run out because maybe we aren’t the moneymakers.”

You know, I’m not that church’s accountant, but there are plenty of broke Black people keeping churches afloat by way of fish fries, day care centers, and building funds more intended to keep Bishop Tax Free in the finest of Cadillacs than constructing real buildings.

Pastor Let’s Please the Naturally Pastier People and senior church officials have since apologized:

The pastors have been meeting with staff and church members to confirm their commitment to diversity and to ensure nothing like this happens again. Freedom House believes in a diverse relationship within its membership, reflecting the larger community in which the church resides, doing life together as a church representative of everyone — culturally, ethnically, economically, and generationally.”

If only they had added something like, “P.S. We know’s we’s free nah, boss.” I would be more impressed.

Funny enough, there’s been a story floating around the Internet entitled “8 Black Celebrities Who Don’t Believe In Jesus.” The headline alone has caused me to reach out in to the sky, hoping to grab Jesus’ right hand and use it to smack the stupid out of all parties involved — or at least, all of the religious folk up in arms over the reality that not everyone pledges allegiance to a supreme being by way of a pew.

One of the entertainers listed, Chris Rock, is quoted as saying, “A Black Christian is like a Black person with no memory.”

Tell the truth and shame the pastor.

I know this woman of the cloth doesn’t represent every Christian, but her actions do speak to a larger problem with respect to religion and race. There are plenty of churches that continue to be divided along racial lines. It would be nice to bridge the gap, but that style of courtship is discomforting.

White Jesus wouldn’t like it. Black Jesus surely can’t stand it. Asian Jesus is equally over it. Mulatto Jesus is just plain disgusted.

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick

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