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The problem with playing “Devil’s Advocate” is that you could accidentally present the winning argument.

For instance, I was exchanging ideas with the 27 year-old cat from my Factotum-like night gig recently and he was telling me how his next girlfriend would not only have to be faithful to him, but also allow him to cheat.

“You need a woman that’s stronger than you,” I said.

“How you figure that?” he asked, genuinely perplexed.

“You need to be able to cheat on her,” I began, “but have her not only be able to resist the temptation to cheat on you, but also to be able to forgive you for cheating. You need her to be morally stronger than you.”

While his chauvinistic double-standard caused him to rock back and forth between his heels and his toes as he searched for an answer that would make sense, I hit him with this:

“Lemmie ask you; how do you feel about pimps?”

“Smart dudes,” he said. “Figured out how to make money without doing that much work.”

“What about prostitutes?” I asked. “Are they smart too?”

“Hell no!” he argued. “They’re fools! They’re letting their bodies get all used up and their not even keeping the majority of the money!”

Any of the money,” chimed in a 24 year-old cat. “If the pimp is pimpin’ right.”

“So should we respect them?” I asked.

“No!” both the 27 and 24 year-old cats said in unison.

It was then that a 30 year-old Spanish cat chimed in with this:

“You could respect them, depending on geography.”

I don’t know what the 24 and 27 year-old cats were thinking, but I started picturing a globe. Luckily, the Spanish cat explained.

“Let’s say she doesn’t have a pimp. You know there’s a difference between a woman that’s selling her body on the street and one that’s more, you know, exclusive.”

“Ok,” I said.

“And of course, there’s a huge difference between one that’s even selling her body for money and one that’s selling it for something else, like crack.”

Me and both the cats in their 20s were nodding our heads unevenly.

“So, let’s say you’re getting 5, 10, 20 thousand dollars for selling your body. You might start to look at women giving it away as idiots!”

“Whoa!” I said. This was getting way outta control!

“This is America, man,” The Spanish cat added. “Gotta make that paper!”

I know, but…


What do ya’ll think? Should we start respecting prostitutes or stop respecting pimps?

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