OPINION: 5 Reasons Black Women Are NOT Mad At Tiger Woods

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By now you’ve surely heard that Tiger Woods cheated on his (white) wife with a parade of other (white) women. A new mistress or two seems to pop up every day, so the golfer’s infidelity has ceased to be the surprising news.

No, what surprised us here at NewsOne is that apparently, Black people are very upset with Tiger for his behavior. At least that’s what the Associated Press says:

“When three white women were said to be romantically involved with Woods in addition to his blonde, Swedish wife, blogs, airwaves and barbershops started humming, and Woods’ already tenuous standing among many blacks took a beating.”

Is that so? Tell me more about what I think, Associated Press!

“Black women have long felt slighted by the tendency of famous black men to pair with white women, and many have a list of current transgressors at the ready.”

Interesting. But it looks like I, and the assortment of Black women I’ve discussed this with, didn’t get the memo telling us to be salty about Tiger and his numerous “transgressions.” I’ve been hard pressed to find a Black woman who’s even remotely upset about this. Here are 5 reasons why, among some Black women, Tiger’s tart parade is NOT striking a nerve:

5) Tiger was long gone.

Woods married Elin Nordegren in October of 2004. That’s a solid 5 years we’ve had to recognize and accept that the man would never be seen rocking an “I <3 Black Girls” t-shirt, and move on with our collective lives. Not to mention that even before the marriage, the man denied being black at all, instead dubbing himself “Cablinasian.” He hasn’t ever really been on Team Black Folks. As a result, the fact that all of Tiger’s mistresses are longhaired white women just doesn’t pack much emotional punch.

4) He cheated, but it wasn’t on one of us.

Black women know a little something about solidarity. After all, we’ve been through an awful lot: slavery, the Civil Rights struggle, even watching right-wingers hate on Michelle Obama during the 2008 election. We stick together. So if Tiger had been married to a black woman and pulled this stunt, we would absolutely be up in arms on behalf of our sister. But … Elin doesn’t exactly qualify. Right or wrong, most black women don’t readily identify with a white, blonde, billionaire from Sweden. So this betrayal doesn’t exactly feel personal.

3) Nobody aspires to be a mistress.

Presumably, black women allegedly feeling “slighted” by high profile black men’s penchant for white women arises from envy—the sense that those women are taking something we want. But who really wants to be anyone’s “other woman,” billionaire or no? Tempting as Tiger’s “I will wear you out” texts may be, it’s safe to say most black woman aren’t likely to get jealous of a bunch of side chicks.

2) Tiger Woods is kind of a dork.

He may be a world-class athlete, but somehow playing golf lacks the raw sex appeal of something like soccer or basketball. For many women, Black and otherwise, the fact that Tiger Woods has sex at all—let alone in a wildly promiscuous manner—comes as a shock. It’s hard to get too upset about losing a man we never thought of “like that” in the first place.

1) This whole situation is entirely too funny to get angry about. (Unless you’re Elin and the kids. Or Woods.)

New mistresses popping up every day, panicked voicemails and sexy texts leaked to the press, and an endless supply of golf/sex puns and jokes. What is there to do but laugh? Sorry Tiger.

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