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Chris Brown in tears

It’s around this time every year that I make my annual Smokey Fontaine joke, but being that this year Smokey donned a pencil-thin mustache and appeared onstage as El Debarge, I’ve decided to cut him some slack.

Nice try Smoke, but everybody knows that El Debarge died horribly in a do-rag factory explosion over 25 years ago.

If he hadn’t, it would be the perfect time for him, a la Maxwell, to make a BET Awards Show inspired comeback that would return him to the top of the charts and make grown folks music a premium again.

Wishful thinking, I know.

Latifah was a good host, wasn’t she? She poked fun at all of previous incarnations from both stage and screen and even had a little fun with the notion that she’s (hint, hint) a hint, hint—if you know what I mean.

I couldn’t understand a word from Drake or Eminem and wanted them both off the stage.

I’ve hated that song by Monica right up until the moment that she brought Denise Williams up onto the stage.

Now I love it.

Is Alicia Keys pregnant or do none of her dresses fit?

What exactly is “Dirty Money” and why must anybody watch it televised?

Trey Songz’s mom is a good-looking woman and Nicki Minaj is a bona fide superstar—haters!

How does DJ Khaled keep getting the cream of Hip Hop’s crop to perform on his weird, self-aggrandizing songs?

I wanted to feel for Chris Brown, but the last time I witnessed somebody crying through a performance of any kind it was Oliver McCall as he got beat senseless by Lennox Lewis for the heavyweight title.

Somebody needs to tell John Legend that a true humanitarian wouldn’t force us listen to hour-long acceptance speeches.

I’m glad that Prince is Black. I’ve always suspected that he was, but now I’m sure.

All in all, it’s great (to me at least) that a network—which admittedly has its flaws—consistently outshines the Oscars, Grammys, MTV and everybody else when it comes to putting on award shows.

Outstanding job, BET.

Anybody beg to differ?