Watch Your Mouth When You Talk About Michelle Obama

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I’m in love with Michelle Obama and out of respect I wish Barack a long and prosperous life because if anything should happen to the brother, I’m changing my last name, becoming RK Onassis, and stepping up like, “Michelle… what’s good?”

And it’s not just because she’s a “big, fine woman” in the Juvenile sense of the expression, it’s also that she embodies all the possibilities that we’ve come to expect when we decided that Black females were Superwomen except that she’s actually made all those grandiose positive stereotypes come to life.

She makes marrying a nanny and subsequently having to cough up $750 million in the aftermath look patently absurd.

And remember when she was the fine young lawyer, already a partner in her firm, who refused to date Barack because he was a bum at the time?

Now see her as the First Lady. And make no mistake; she’s the reason that Barack is President. Without her, Mr. Obama becomes Harold Ford.

So you can imagine that it burns me to no end when, not only is Michelle Obama criticized, but she’s criticized ridiculously and unfairly.

This latest media escapade paints Mrs. Obama as “Marie Antoinette” (dig, the same Marie Antoinette that was justifiably guillotined during the French Revolution) simply because she vacationed with daughter Sasha in Spain– and looked fantastic while doing so.

Now c’mon! You bozos should have known better than to expect a stay at home mom as your First Lady since the days of Eleanor Roosevelt!

You’ve been electing co-presidents at the very least since Bill and Hillary Clinton and possibly even since John and Abigail Adams.

Her simple-minded critics seem to forget one thing: as the world’s most visible woman, Michelle Obama has all the top designers literally Kamikaze-ing themselves trying to get her to wear their creations.

She probably doesn’t pay for clothes at all except in those girly-girl moments that overtake all women when they feel the irrepressible urge to go on a quest for the perfect scarf, gloves or shoes—and maybe not even then.

The idea that the beautiful, cultured, poised, sophisticated and accomplished Michelle Obama should represent our country abroad in anything but the highest form and the grandest manner is an affront, not only to women everywhere, but indeed to these very United States of America.

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