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I kind of fell into the passenger seat, slumped in a ball.  Judging by the look in my wife’s eyes she had a similar day (motherhood is never a joke). But shes smiled and said “Hi babe.”  A weak head nod gesture and an empty “Hi” was all that came out of my mouth.

My kids were in the back seat smiling like crazy. “Hi Daddy!” my oldest daughter said with energy burst only a daughter can possess.

“Hey there” I said in a dry tone.  I turned to the traffic ahead in silence.  As I turned I caught my daughters eyes in the rear view mirror.  It was like I had popped her favorite balloon.  She had clearly been waiting to see me all day. I spoke to her like she was just some joker off the corner.

In a millisecond, images of all the people I said hello to during the day shot through my brain.  I saw all the smiles I gave all my co-workers.  I saw all the pounds I gave to random people on the block.  I saw all the laughs I shared going to work, and coming home.

But now my wife and daughter says hello and I shrugged it off.

I pledged that day that I would never give the best of my smiles, hugs, pounds and laughs to the outside world. No matter what happens in my workday, I will preserve a corner of my heart purely for the joy of  my wife and kids.

I turned around immediately and asked how her day was and we had a really cool conversation. Then I gave my wife a proper kiss as we stopped in traffic and asked about her day.

Now that might sound instinctual, but life has a way of wearing you down. The same train, same meetings, same people, same lunch etc. It is a lot to take on at times, but we should never give so much of ourselves when we are away that we have nothing in the tank when we get home.

Since that day I always make sure I greet my daughters with the best smiles. My son  gets the best pounds, and my wife gets the longest, strongest hugs and kisses I can find within me.

When you are laying down for the last time, your meetings at work and the daily grind will not be on your mind. Your family, and how you treated the ones you said you loved the most will take up the bulk of your thoughts.

Never let the pressures of the world steal your smile. If anything, preserve it for the joy of your own heart. Don’t let anybody take it.  Not even for a moment. Have a great day today.

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It’s a beautiful time to be alive and there are amazing opportunities to learn from and grow through all around us. But without a clear goal, you might find yourself overwhelmed. By it all and before you finish smiling, it’s over. Life really moves that fast.

Part of it is the intensity of the unstable economy and our broken educational system. It can leave you feeling unprepared at best and extremely stressed and depressed at worst. Negative thoughts can be crippling to the mind, body, and spirit. Many times negative thoughts are fed to us from our family, friends and the media. Despite meaning well, it’s common that those who love us mislead us. Not from a place of hate.  More often than not, it’s just a transfer of fear that they’ve carried and put onto you.

Regardless of their intention these negative thoughts can invade your head like a virus and alter the normal function of your brain. Your sense of self worth and ability become distorted. Soon bad habits and negative affirmations lead you to assured failure and unhappiness.

I often find solace in playing chess. I’m not an incredibly good player. But, I noticed a pattern of losing when I played too passive. When I let my opponent dictate the terms of battle, I lose. My experience was no different when I was on the mat in jiu jitsu. Inactivity is a virus of the mind.

To free yourself of this virus you must first decide that your mind, body, and soul are sacred. The word sacred comes from a Latin root word sacrare mean “to devote”. One of the definitions of sacred is “properly immune from violence, interference etc. as a person”. After you recognize your inherent sacred nature, you quickly understand that anything sacred is worthy of defending. The easiest way to defend yourself against any threat (physical, mental, economic, etc.) is to keep yourself consistently in tune with the true current state of the world. You need to be clear on your place in it and where you are headed.

After many years of living a very distracted life, I recently developed a personal  methodology to combat consistent distractions. I write is as 3PA > 1NT. Meaning three positive actions are greater than one negative thought!

The next time you find your mind idle on the couch or in front of the TV and a negative thought enters your mind you must first get up (if you are lying down, sit up, if you were sitting stand and if you were standing sit and get grounded). Change your physical posture as you adjust your mind. No thought is stronger than action taken. Now we begin.

Example #1 : If you are worried about the big test, take three positive actions against that fear. Read 3 pages on the subject that were giving you the most trouble. Or you could read one page, look up an article on the subject online and call a mentor to ask a specific question you lack clarity on.

Example #2: If you feel out of shape when you look yourself in the mirror, then right there drop and do ten push ups (or as many as you can do) ten sit ups and ten minutes on the jump rope. Call a friend who has gotten fit and ask if they have any suggestions on how you can begin.

Example #3: If you want a new job, go sign up at 3 new sites online or dig deeper on the sites you prefer and send no less than three resumes out.

Those are the simple examples I can give but the equations are applicable to many more situations. To get started, write 3PA > 1NT in big letters on a piece of binder paper and place it on your favorite mirror, on your fridge, or make it your screen saver. Say the equation and its meaning when you look at it. As you do that, you’ll begin to slowly implement it more and more when obstacles clutter your path.

One of the best things about this method is that you will quickly learn how little effort it takes to take three positive actions. In no time at all you will be taking six, ten and twelve actions to breakthrough to the next level. Using the 3PA > 1NT will give you a much greater sense of peace in your personal, scholastic and professional world. You will sleep better and worry less because you will make taking action your core instinct.

In chess playing defense too long is always fatal. At some point you must commit to moving forward or die exhausted from reactive moves dictated by outside forces. Make this the year you take control of the wheel through action.

In order to ensure its full impact, you must use the 3PA > 1NT for 21 days straight. Studies show it takes 21 days for a habit to set into your mind. Allow this to become a part of your daily mental regimen and you will be unstoppable in any arena you walk. It worked for me. I hope it works for you!

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