As much as Republicans love pointing out the Democrats started the Ku Klux Klan, it is an undeniable fact that here in the 21st century (and at least half the 20th for that matter) KKK members identify strongly with today’s Republican party. KKK members are showing up at GOP campaign rallies forcing the Republican candidates they’ve taken selfies with to work themselves up into a “wait, I don’t even know buddy” frenzy. Republican lawmakers are out here defending the Klan as protectors of law and order, and former grand wizard David Duke, who has run for office multiple times as a Republican, wanted credit for basically being a white supremacist template for Donald Trump’s presidency.
The KKK and the GOP are peanut butter and jelly. They’re Kool-aid and sugar. They’re ham and burger. They’re Ebony and Ivory except they’re really heavy on the ivory and they like their ebony chained up, sunken placed, or strung from a tree branch.
Anyway, a former KKK leader who tried to run for public office in Georgia as a Republican is big mad that he’s been disqualified for being a felon and he’s complaining because—sorry, let me just check my notes real quick—his civil rights have been violated.
Meet Chester Doles.
According to an investigation launched by CBS46, Doles, 61, is a former Klan leader-turned self-described “white civil rights activist” (which is basically like saying he’s a hot bowl of mayonnaise-turned lukewarm bowl of mayonnaise).
On March 8, Doles filed an affidavit to qualify to run for Lumpkin County Board of Commissioners District 3. CBS46 said it “received the signed document from the county when they confirmed that he qualified,” but after reporters from the network started poking around and asking local and state elections officials questions about Doles and his felony record, the Georgia Republican Party “confirmed they started looking into it after we brought it to their attention.”
Turns out the Republikkkant doesn’t qualify to run for anything in Georgia besides maybe commissioner of white bedsheets and flammable crosses. (I shouldn’t joke about that because it could actually be a thing in Ga.)
According to Georgia code, for a convicted felon to run for office they need two things—their civil rights restored and 10 years since their last prison stint. Doles had the latter locked down (so to speak), but according to the Georgia Republican Party, his rights “were not restored in time for the qualifying deadline,” which was March 8.
Doles was interviewed twice by CBS46 investigator Rachel Polansky.
“You were requesting a judge restore all your rights including running for office. Has that happened?” Polansky asked in February.
“That matter’s been resolved. It’s been cleared. I’m good to go,” Doles responded.
But to Doles’ Klan-derwear-soiling surprise, he was officially disqualified a month later. The next conversation he had with Polansky was subsequently hilarious.
“You had told me when we first talked that your rights had been restored by a judge. So that wasn’t the case?” Polansky asked.
“Well, I was asking,” Doles responded. “And it was not in the judge’s authority. He said it’s not that he doesn’t want to do it. He just lacks the authority. So that was the start and I’ve also filed with other departments and I’m gonna leave it right there.”
The, uh—the judge didn’t have that authority to make a court decision. This alternate Klan-iverse is something else, I tell ya’.
Polansky proceeded to ask Doles about the legally-binding affidavit he signed declaring his eligibility to run for office, and Doles continued to fumble through his word salad in explaining policy he didn’t appear to understand himself. (Klan I.Q. is basically I.QAnon, so it shouldn’t surprise anyone he doesn’t actually know sh**.)
“You can read the code. It seems like a gray area. There are parts that support me and there are parts against me. There is no intention to deliberately deceive anyone,” Doles said.
Later in the interview, Doles proceeded to cry white supremacist tears in the most kkkaucasified way imaginable.
“To make me walk around for the rest of my life with a scarlet letter and act like a second-class citizen is just wrong,” said the guy who used to lead a group known for lynching actual second-class citizens. “This case is more than me being on the ballot. It’s also looking at how convicted felons are treated after a certain period of time.”
While Black people and activists have long advocated for the restoration of voting rights and other civil rights for felons, this old kkkrusty piece of seasonless meat pie needs to slow his pasty-white role and cease trying to include himself in that particular cause.
“They have violated my civil rights,” the mother f***** Klan member continued. “We’re gonna ask for damages. My attorney is reviewing the case right now. They’ve caused me major damages. I have thousands of dollars in campaign signs, billboards, radio commercials.”
Booooy, don’t nobody want to see this fool’s kkkommercials or political arts and kkkrafts projects.
And if they do want to see them, they’re probably a Republican.