In today’s episode of All Genocides Matter…Even The Non-Existent Ones, a Republican senator from Minnesota who is attempting to block a state bill that would require educators to give lessons on the Holocaust and the genocide of indigenous people justified his position by applying a Trump-like “very fine people on both sides” narrative to the historical wiping out of native people by European settlers. Apparently, the OG colonizers were also victims of genocide perpetrated by the people whose land they managed to steal while having their entire white race systematically exterminated.
Meet Minnesota State Sen. Steve Drazkowski (R).
Drazkowski is not a historian of Minnesota. He’s also not a historian of literally anything. Steve Drazkowski is a historian like Herschel Walker is a werewolf FBI cop. He’s an aficionado of history like Fox News is a bastion of ethical journalism. Drazkowski knows history like Dr. Dre knows how to perform open-heart surgery.
In fact, Drazkowski has such impressive encyclopedic knowledge of history that during his recent bid to block the legislation, SF 2442, he cited historical events so obscure that only the fake historians from the Caucasian Oppression Learning University MAGA Branch United States (COLUMBUS) organization know of it.
“You know—and I grew up in Wisconsin, so I’m not a historian of Minnesota, but I do understand that the genocides between the white people and the Indians going back included, kind of several genocides each way,” Drazkowski said on the Senate floor.
Nah, but I really need to get ahold of the history book Drazkowski takes his notes from. I’d be fascinated to learn how it is that white people are able to maintain a 60% majority in the U.S. despite being victims of “several” genocides committed by the people Drazkowski is still calling “Indians” in 2023.
No doubt, I’d also learn about the Caucasian plantation Harriet Tubman ran because slavery also goes both ways.
Anyway, many of the fine folks on Twitter responded to Drazkowski’s ahistorical claim sarcastically because, apparently, there wasn’t a chapter on the Trail of White Tears in their history books either.
It’s worth mentioning that Drazkowski is the same Drazkowski who recently voted against a bill to provide public school students with free lunches because he has “yet to meet a person in Minnesota who is hungry.”
So, basically, Drazkowski can’t imagine there being a single poor and under-fed person in the entire state of Minnesota, but he can imagine an alternative universe where white people were massacred en mass by indigenous reverse-colonizers. (In that universe there’s currently a pro-football team called the Washington Whiteskins and a baseball team called the Atlanta Melanin Depraves. Their logo is a smallpox blanket instead of a tomahawk.)
It’s not terribly surprising that the Republican war on true American history now has a GOP legislator out here trying to “all lives matter” Native American genocide, but it’s disgusting and desperate nonetheless.
But sure, tell me more about how critical race theory is the problem.
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