1. Stop getting angry as quickly, violently and easily,
2. Stop referring to other people and even thinking of them as “idiots”,
3. Say the word “relax” over and over to calm myself down
The only one that wasn’t broken literally seconds after the clock struck 12 was the third one.
I’m far from perfect and I expect people to literally see my insanity reeking from my pores when they look at me.
I talk to myself out loud and laugh like a maniac at jokes that only I would understand because they’re playing themselves out on the widescreen inside my own head.
Yet, of course, I’m Black, educated, fit, working, beautiful and all the other things that all the ladies love.
But am I… wrong?
Since I was the nut that declared 2011 “The Year of the Black Woman”, I would be remiss if I didn’t at least try to sum up the current state of the Black man.
Judging by myself as an example, we’re f*cked.
The ones of us that are ½ witty think we’re brilliant, the ones of us that are ½ cute think we’re Adonis’s, the ones of us that earn ½ decent salaries think were “Black” Bill Gates and Donald Trumps and we all think we’re sex gods.
And these are just the brothers you see on the street that aren’t in jail and actually like women and Black women at that.
The other brothers don’t exactly count because, believe it or not, we represent an elevated plane to their current state of depravity.
In other words, the junkies, conmen, crooks and liars have to work their way up to our level.
The problem, since I am gonna have to finally admit that there is a problem, is that very few of us have an internal ideal that’s entirely independent of any preexisting archetypes.
You’ll catch that whenever you hear a Black man use either one of two phrases: “I’m like…” or “If that was me…”
You hear these all the time.
“I’m like Jay-Z”
“LeBron shouldn’t have gone to Miami. If that was me…”
Both of these phrases are symbolic of our need to distance ourselves from ourselves in order to gain perspective when probably the ability to use external guideposts in order to gain internal focus would be preferable.
Or maybe this is a phenomenon that occurs in all men but I notice it in us the most.
Now, this was a great post, wasn’t it?
Humility should have been my 4th New Year’s resolution.
So now, despite the fact that I’ve done ya’ll a fantastic service by writing this, I’d like to thank everyone that took the time to read it.