On July 16, Donald Trump will be probably be busy prettying himself up, ironing his hair, picking out his baggiest suit and longest red tie while applying a special shade of orange to his wrinkled face. After all, that’s when he’s scheduled to lay his eyes on his BFF Vladimir Putin.
Yep, their annual July meeting is coming up in Helsinki. Prepare for the dictator to give some tips to his apparent apprentice so democracy can be completely dismantled in America.
The last time Putin and Trump’s bromance was on display was July 7, nearly one year ago, on the sidelines of the G20 meeting in Germany. They reportedly met for a full hour at a time when speculation of their alleged collusion to get Trump elected was at a fever pitch. No word on what their discussion was—maybe they just held hands, stared into each other’s eyes and drew pretty pictures of their experiences with urinating Russian prostitutes.
Alas, they will meet again in less than three weeks, which is considered their first official summit. There has been actual proof (even George W. Bush agreed) that Russia meddled in our elections, but that has never fazed Trump. Just Thursday morning, he tweeted — one of his favorite ways of fawning over Putin — that Russia “had nothing to do with Meddling in our Election!”
His kind words for Russia’s president came less than a month after Trump insisted “Russia should be at this meeting” of the Group of 7 (G7) summit in Canada even though the collective formerly known as the G8 previously kicked Russia out for invading Ukraine and annexing Crimea.
Next month will actually mark their third time meeting, although Trump (surprise!) now denies his previous admission to meeting Putin in 2014. So in his brain, it will only be their second intimate encounter.
Nonetheless, July is clearly their anniversary month and will likely make official for the rest of the world Trump’s ushering in of European conservatism to take control over more of our freedoms that have already been limited since the 2016 election.
If you aren’t rich, white, heterosexual and Christian, to quote Whoopi Goldberg in Ghost, “You in danger, girl.”