I truly believe that we dodged a serious bullet this year with the election of Barack Obama. While I cannot say for certain what would’ve happened if John McCain had won the election this year, here is an educated guess at what might have happened if the philosophies and attitudes of John McCain and Sarah Palin were brought into the current political climate of the US and the world.
November 3rd: McCain airs his Reverend Wright ads in Florida, Pennsylvania and Ohio. Sean Hannity plays the infamous “Whitey Tape” from Michelle Obama in which a woman reported to be Michelle Obama says “Whitey is so dumb, he about to elect my light-skinned husband to be president, so we can take over the country, make it socialist, and give away all the white jobs to our Black friends and pal around with terrorists.”
November 4th: Despite leading in the polls and decisively winning the popular vote, Obama loses both Pennsylvania and Ohio due to faulty voting machines in Pittsburgh and Cleveland. There are reports of voter suppression and intimidation in Virginia, Georgia, Ohio and North Carolina.
November 5th: At 2 a.m., Fox News calls the election for McCain. Obama and the Democrats call for a recount. Tensions erupt across the country as police clash with protesters. Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson make public pleas to the government to stop police brutality against the non-violent protesters. The New York Times reveals the Michelle Obama “Whitey” tape to be a fraud.
December 12th: McCain claims that the military will back him if the high court makes Obama president by decree, McCain. Barack Obama, fearing a civil war, concedes the election. The Supreme Court rules that Barack Obama’s request for a recount is illegal.
December 13th: Massive protests erupt in New York, L.A., Detroit and Philadelphia against McCain stealing the election. A twelve-year-old girl is shot in the back of the head by police in Philadelphia during a protest. Barack Obama addresses the nation and gives what the media calls “the speech of a lifetime,” telling his supporters not to give in to violence and to work to build a better America.
December 20th: McCain names Joe Lieberman Secretary of State, General Petraeus Secretary of Defense, advisor Charlie Black Director of Commerce, and Elizabeth Hasslebeck Press Secretary.
December 22: McCain gives his economic plan to the nation. Tax cuts for the rich, increased spending on the military, cutting of social programs, and corporate deregulation are highlights of his agenda. After McCain reveals his plan, the stock market crashes, the Dow landing below 4,000. Companies make massive layoffs the day before Christmas.
January 20th 2009: McCain’s inauguration is marred by a massive protest. 200 people are arrested. McCain is forced to use a decoy car while he uses an alternate route to the White House.
March 5th, 2009: McCain blasts Democrats for leading the country into a depression. He attacks liberal media outlets such as MSNBC and the Huffington Post for being anti-patriotic and driving the nation into chaos. McCain suspends contact between his staff and all news organizations, except for Fox News.
April 25th, 2009: The National Enquirer releases videotape of Cindy McCain kissing former rock-and-roll star and soap opera actor, Rick Springfield. A taped conversation between Cindy McCain and a close friend reveals affairs from both John and Cindy and a “terrible, hypocritical marriage of convenience.”
May 15th, 2009: With the U.S. in a grave financial crisis, John McCain cuts Headstart, after-school programs, welfare and funding to community colleges. Protests erupt across the nation. Social unrest occurs all over urban America.
July 4th, 2009: Citing intelligence, Israeli and American forces attack a suspected nuclear weapons site in Iran. 600 workers are killed in a steel factory.
July 11th, 2009: Iran retaliates against the U.S. and Israel, bombing US bases in Kuwait and Iraq. Iranian-backed Hezbollah invades Israel from the north, and fights a drawn out battle with many military and civilian casualties on both sides.
July 25th, 2009: John McCain’s son is killed when his warship is attacked by Iranian missiles.
August 12th, 2009: John McCain launches a preemptive nuclear strike on Iran, killing 500,000 civilians in Tehran. Media everywhere declare the start of World War III.
September 11th, 2009: John McCain declares a draft and lowers the age of miliary service eligibility to 16.
September 20th, 2009: Massive student protests against the war. Hundreds of students are arrested at the University of California at Berkeley and Columbia University in New York. A 19-year-old college freshman is killed when a tear gas canister fired by police hits her directly in the head at Indiana State University.
September 25th, 2009: Due to massive social unrest, John McCain creates a new position in his cabinet, Secretary of Un-American Affairs, and names Michelle Bachman to the post.
October 17th, 2009: Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid draft up orders for impeachment of John McCain.
November 8th, 2009: Barack Obama is arrested for high treason for trying to overthrow McCain. Obama is detained indefinitely.
November 9th, 2009: More protests around the country. Massive rioting in Philadelphia, Oakland, Detroit and Los Angeles. With no army or national guard to contain the riots, gangs begin take control of the cities.
November 10th, 2009: John McCain declares martial law in the United States and suspends habeas corpus.
November 22nd, 2009: Russia, China, India and Brazil impose sanctions on the United States, citing Human Rights violations and preemptive war with Iran.
December 4th, 2009: John McCain dies of a heart attack during a meeting at the White House.
December 5th, 2009: Sarah Palin is sworn in as President. She says she will continue John McCain’s fight against evil, and calls for the nation to rally against both domestic and foreign terrorists.
December 13th, 2009: Sarah Palin charges Russia and Vladimir Putin with arming the Iranians and trying to cripple the U.S. economy with sanctions.
December 21st: Sarah Palin claims she has had a vision from God to complete the fight of good over evil and threatens a nuclear attack on Russia.
December 22nd: Russia declares war on the United States. Troops are sent into Eastern Europe. The conflict has not gone “nuclear”
January 5th: Russia invades Alaska and is met with no resistance. They begin to move their forces through Canada into the U.S.
January 13th: American citizens, angry at the Republican despots, storm the White House and Capitol Building. Sarah Palin is arrested in a coup by several generals in conjunction with congressional dissenters.
January 20th: Russian, Cuban, Venezuelan and Bolivian forces invade southern Florida and begin making their way to D.C. With all of the U.S. army in the Middle East, they are also met with no resistance. The United States surrenders.