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Apparently, Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is out here pretending she doesn’t believe white supremacists exist in America, which, of course, would be like Donald Trump claiming tanning beds are a figment of our imagination. (Also, if white supremacists aren’t real, Trump is only an illusion of the mind.)

It all started on Saturday when a group of white supremacists gathered in downtown Centerville, Texas, to chant “white power” along with other racist and homophobic remarks. Apparently, it was a demonstration staged on what they said was the one-year anniversary of the day escaped inmate Gonzalo Lopez “killed five members of a white family.”

Now, Greene could have simply joined Centerville locals in denouncing this small group of Klan carolers and saying they had no place in Texas, but no mind-numbing MTG rant would be complete without a lazy, unimaginative conspiracy theory that she knows she’ll never have to provide evidence of because, much like herself, Greene’s constituents have the critical thinking capacity of a tree stump.

So, instead of just acknowledging that there are still racists in America (*gestures widely toward a sizable portion of her voter block*), Greene decided to offer up the whitesplanation that the white men shouting “white power” were actually federal government representatives in disguise. She also tossed it out there that the white nationalist group Patriot Front is also full of feds in MAGA Klan cosplay.

“I want an investigation into who these people are,” Greene tweeted Sunday. “This group, just like the Patriot Front group that marches in DC, looks like a fed operation trying to create racism, white supremacy, and racial division where none exist. Take your masks off you cowards.”

So, basically, MTG thinks she’s stumbled across a neo-Nazi Scooby-Doo mystery in which white supremacists are unmasked to reveal federal agents who shout, “And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling MAGA kids and your mangy pet Karen!”

“Think about what all this country has gone through to end racism,” Greene wrote in an erroneous follow-up tweet that implies racism ever ended in “this country” and that civil rights were granted for any other reason besides Black people’s unwillingness to stop fighting American racism. “We had the civil rights era, desegregation of schools, and Americans worked very hard to end racism. And now it looks like the federal government is trying to create racism and white supremacists groups. What horrible people that would fund this garbage to create hate, division, and eventually war.”

You have to love the way Greene is pretending to be outraged over pretend feds who she imagines are pretending to be white supremacists.” (It’s like Inception but with QMoron self-delusion.)

It must also have been the feds who were posing as the white students and parents who harassed Black students like Ruby Bridges when they attended newly integrated schools.

In fact, why stop there? Perhaps it was a federal agent who wore a Marjorie Taylor Greene disguise when they filmed themself declaring that Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to run for office in America. Maybe the feds were in full MTG cosplay when they referred to Muslim members of Congress as the “Jihad Squad,” claimed Congress members weren’t official unless they were sworn in on the Bible, referred to Black people as “slaves” to the Democratic party, compared Black Lives matter to the KKK, and flat out lied about the definition of critical race theory.

Shame on the federal government for taking over Greene’s Twitter account in order to make the Georgia rep appear to join fellow conservatives (who were also feds, apparently) in arbitrarily denouncing the singing of the “Black National Anthem” by Sheryl Lee Ralph during opening performances at Super Bowl LVII.

I mean, all of this must have been the work of the feds. Otherwise, MTG could reasonably be accused of “trying to create racism, white supremacy, and racial division where none exists.”

Imagine that.


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