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No Kings March In NYC
Source: NurPhoto / Getty

Another wave of “No Kings” protests erupted across America this weekend, with an estimated seven million people gathering around the country to express their discontent with the authoritarian regime that calls itself the executive branch of our federal government. And, predictably, President Donald Trump is not responding to these demonstrations by practicing a little self-reflection and wondering why his presidency keeps prompting such massive pushback like no other presidency in recent history. Instead, our sitting president is responding by trolling his own citizens like he’s running the Department of White Boy Reddit instead of the White House.

On Saturday, Trump posted yet another AI-generated video meant to mock his political rivals and detractors from his “Truth” Social platform. This time, he posted a video that depicted him wearing a king’s crown and flying a jet labeled “King Trump” — you know — to send a message to the American people that he is, in fact, not a king. From his AI plane, AI-King Trump dumps some kind of brown liquid on protesters that could be mud, fecal matter or whatever that brown stuff was leaking from Rudy Giuliani’s head that one time.

Mind you, the White House posting an image calling Trump a king and depicting him as such is what gave these protests their title in the first place.

Still, Trump insists that he’s “not a king,” much like he has insisted that he’s “not a dictator” after claiming the American people actually do want a dictator, and after saying during his 2024 campaign that if he’s elected president,  he wouldn’t be a dictator “except for Day 1” — a promise he made good on after signing a slew of far-reaching executive orders at his inauguration, many of which have been determined to be unconstitutional by courts of law.

Trump also responded to the “No Kings” rallies by telling reporters aboard Air Force One that this wave of anti-Trump demonstrations was “a joke” and that the protesters were not “representative of this country,” because, like the rest of white conservative America, his administration has dedicated itself to spreading the message that Democrats, leftists and literally any other U.S. citizen else who isn’t a follower of their MAGA-fied, white nationalist ideology is not only un-American, but they are actually enemies to the nation. This, by the way, is exactly what monarchs and dictators do while enforcing their rule.

And because our president is, again, a far better social media troll than he is a world leader, he was also on Air Force One spreading the same kind of common, generic right-wing conspiracy theories we see all over the internet about paid protesters and that one Democratic billionaire Republicans default to when literally any and every leftist organization or event gets national attention.

According to Axios, Trump said he looked “at all the brand new signs I guess paid for” by George Soros and other “radical left lunatics,” which, as usual, he claimed without a single solitary shred of evidence.

“By the way, I’m not a king,” Trump then said. “I’m not a king, I work my a** off to make our country great, that’s all it is. I’m not a king at all.”

I believe it was the great Tywin Lannister who once said, “Any man who must say ‘I am the king’ is no true king.” Well, the same logic works in reverse. Leaders who are not at least trying to be kings and dictators don’t need to convince their own citizens that they are not kings and dictators. (Also, if Trump isn’t basically a 79-year-old version of Joffrey Baratheon, I don’t know who is.)

Let’s be clear on one thing: Trump isn’t being called a fascist, a dictator or a wannabe king just because a sizable portion of the American populace hates his guts. As I wrote previously, he gets called these things because “he’s all propaganda, no facts, openly denies certain people the right to do processuses the military to attack U.S. citizens while ignoring state sovereignty, declares imaginary leftist groups as terrorist organizations, deports people just for organizing or reporting on protests he disagrees with, and he tried to steal the 2020 election via a 24/7 lie-o-thon about it being stolen from him.” And that’s actually a short list.

We’re living in a scary time because our president is, for all intents and purposes, a dictator. We’re living in a frustrating time because our dictator-in-chief is also a childish moron.

After all, Trump’s latest AI-generated video post follows a video depicting former President Barack Obama being locked up, an idiotic video depicting fictional, cure-all “medbeds” that Trump apparently thought were real, and his weird and racist video of Rep. Hakeem Jeffries in a sombrero standing next to Sen. Chuck Schumer as he damns the Democratic party, which was Trump’s totally mature and presidential response to the looming government shutdown.

This is our president, y’all.

Or shall I ask — is this your king?

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