In what may be the biggest October surprise in political history several prominent supervillains have come out of hiding to endorse McCain. The endorsements come from as far as Cybertron to Springfield from a diverse range of power-hungry, evil maniacs. These endorsements may give John McCain an edge in the key evil villain demographic.
Mr. Burns Owner, Springfield Power Plant
I can attest to the character of John McCain as I remember looking up to him when I was but a wee lad in the country clubs. McCain would make sure those peasants in Springfield would not get a penny of my hard earned billions. McCain is also a good friend to the nuclear power community, so I’m sure I’d face no regulations from those pesky environmentalist and their three-eyed fish. I proudly speak for all greedy old geezers, when I endorse my old friend John McCain.
Megatron, Evil Leader of the Decepticons
My primary reason for endorsing McCain is his energy plan. Use up all the energy, and then invade another place for energon cubes or oil, with no regard to civilian casualties. Barack Obama reminds me of the bastard do-gooder Optimus Prime with his concern for life and desire for peace. On behalf of all Decepticons, I hereby endorse John Mccain for President of the United States.
Mumm-Ra, Ever Living Source of Evil, Third Earth
In many ways, I see myself in John McCain: old, wrinkled, bitter with a temper, and with a tremendous desire to cause mass destruction. Lion-Obama and his pesky Democrats are always foiling McCain’s clever plans to smear him, pointing to clever do-goodness, which I despise. On behalf of alI Third Earth mutants, I hereby endorse John McCain as president.
Cobra Commander, Founder and Leader of Cobra Command
On behalf of Cobra, I hereby endorse John McCain. While I am disappointed that the GOP did not endorse the most evil candidate they could in Dick Cheney, I am very satisfied with McCain’s pick of Sarah Palin. Sarah Palin reminds me of a cohort of mine the Baronness, with her desire for war and destruction. If only GI Joe was as dumb as the GOP and went war with Iraq instead of Cobra, I would not have to deal with Duke and his damn bunch of soldiers foiling my evil plans. It is with maniacal, evil pride that I give my full support for the GOP and John McCain.
The Baroness Sarah Palin
Stewie Griffin, Pathological Baby, Quahog Rhode Island
I much prefer the mean old men to the bright happy colored fellow. My main reason for supporting the lumpfaced man, is his delightful temper. I thought it was brilliantly clever when he told the young man he was drafted, and quite a show of misogynist wit when he called his wife a c-nt in front of two reporters.
Lex Luthor, Owner and CEO, LexCorps
As many people know LexCorp is one of McCain’s biggest donors. McCain and I have been friends since we took trips on Charles Keating’s yacht to the Bahamas. Under John McCain’s deregulation plan, LexCorps could continue its path to becoming a multinational corporation, eventually conquering the world. Whether it be Halliburton, Enron or Keating’s Savings and loan, McCain has always been a friend of the power hungry evil greedy CEOs.