OPINION: I’m Dreaming Of A-Rod. Pause.

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 Yankees Rodriguez Baseball

Wouldn’t it be GREAT if A-Rod came out of the closet?

Pause: I’m NOT suggesting that New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez is gay; I’m just hoping that he is. Pause again: and I’m not hoping for personal reasons… well —pause — yes I am.

See, I wasn’t old enough to completely understand the dynamics of the situation, but I was quite alive back in 1974 when Henry Aaron was poised to end Babe Ruth’s then 51 year reign as Major League Baseball’s all-time home run leader (Ruth took the lead back in 1921 with 162 homers; when he retired in 1935, his mark was at 714), the great Hank Aaron actually received death threats from people that didn’t want to see a Black man break what they perceived to be rightfully a white man’s record.

Can you imagine that? Some fools threatening your life because you’re doing your job well? Well, I’m sure Barack Obama can imagine that, but can you?

Anyway, nobody was happy to see Hank break that record except maybe himself and, you know, Black people at large; especially the race-pride types.

So, fast-forward to 2007 and San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds is now about to break Henry Aaron’s home run record (Hank had pushed it up to 755).

Now all of a sudden, everybody’s all nostalgic for Hank! A young picture of him appears on the cover of Sports Illustratedhank and his baseball card is featured in current commercials! He’s loved!

The reason for this is, of course, the fact that Barry Bonds is widely suspected to be a steroids cheat-though concrete evidence of this has, to date, never been conclusively proven.

Nevertheless, Bonds was quietly blackballed from baseball after the 2007 season, preventing him from extending his record even further.

Now all of a sudden the cry sounds that, don’t worry, it won’t be long until still-clean Alex Rodriguez breaks Barry Bonds all-time mark (which Bonds left at 762) and we get a home run leader that we can be proud of again!

*As of right this second, A-Rod’s career homer number is 574, and at only 33 years old, it’s likely he will break the all-time home run mark.*

Then around February of this year, reports started surfacing that A-Rod himself had tested positive for steroids back in 2003. Uh oh

Well, with subsequent positive steroid test results from just about everybody of note in baseball over the course of the last 15 years, it’s finally being accepted that this whole era in baseball is pretty much tainted.

That’s why I’m hoping that A-Rod is gay-despite (Madonna, plenty of strippers, Kate Hudson, ex-wife) so much evidence to the contrary. You see, the same type of “moralists” that find time to be outraged by people using steroids to play a child’s game also usually hate homosexuals (at least publicly).

And wouldn’t it be great to listen to them moan and complain about how much they miss the good ol’ days of Barry Bonds?

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