With recent talks of rapper-turned-mogul Sean “P Diddy” Combs interest in buying an NFL Team, a NBC contributor wrote a very humorous yet controversial article titled, Imagining A World Where Sean Combs Owns an NFL Team. Writer Drew Magary points out that NFL owners are “the oldest and whitest of old white guy clubs”, and “are wary of a young owner with a dubious legal past and considerable media notoriety”.
Magary notes that P Diddy would bring some “pizazz” to the league but doesn’t seem to take the notion as a real possibility– should we as Black people take offense to these statements about the would-be first Black NFL team owner? The National Football League is now over 60% African-American players, why is the ownership 100% white? Is Black ownership in the NFL a possibility?
On his own, he doesn’t possess anywhere near enough free capital to buy an NFL team, which costs about a billion dollars on average. There’s also the issue of NFL owners, the oldest and whitest of old white guy clubs, being wary of a young owner with a dubious legal past and considerable media notoriety.
But Diddy is dreaming big. So let us dream with him, America. What would an NFL team look like were it to be owned by the erstwhile Puff Daddy? I imagine the team would adapt the following features:
-Team relocated to East Hampton
-Fish eye camera used on stadium Jumbotron at all times
-No more cheerleaders. HONEYS. Lots of honeys.
-All offensive and defensive plays openly stolen from other teams, and from Sting
-No one in stadium allowed to make fun of Diddy’s underbite
-Admission price for Jennifer Lopez and family doubled
-Parking spaces widened to allow for customized Escalades
-All players forced to point skyward after scoring to acknowledge Biggie