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If I were gay, I’d hate today’s heterosexual Black men for being so, well, gay. I would never be sure who to hit on. Back in the days, looking good for a man meant a wild afro, a nappy beard or butcher-block sideburns, a leather coat, leather shoes and possibly even leather pants. Now, looking good for a man means skinny jeans, loud colors, funny sneakers, plucked eyebrows, “manscaping” and more gels, creams and products than a prom queen.

What happened? Where did all our heroes go? I miss the men from my pop’s and my uncle’s generation. Men that smoked “cheeba” and drove Cadillacs; men that always bordered on sexual harassment but usually ended up scoring anyway; men that you had to apologize for at dinner parties because they were brutish and socially inept and always ready to fight about it.

Today’s men are way more polished and refined. They’re like girls, actually. Debutantes. I don’t know, maybe it was the times. The men of the times that I miss had just come out of the 60’s and were still looking for revenge. Everything about them was hard. Even the R&B of the time was hard. These guys that we’ve got gallivanting around today don’t even have hard hip hop!

Now don’t get me wrong; nobody’s happier than me that the thug movement is dead. Nothing, not even a “flaming bottom” was gayer than a post-Tupac Shakur thug. But Public Enemy was hard. X Clan was hard. NWA was hard. Weezy is king, but is he…? Forget it.

It’d be dismissive and counter-revolutionary to blame the women. To suggest that Black women have somehow “held back” or retarded Black male development is absurd; it’s bogus. The only thing that women can do is ask themselves if they’re happy with these weirdly dressed things that expect them to always make the first move. As an Econ major, I know for a fact that supply will eventually follow demand.

Ladies: demand better!