I felt like I was re-watching the scene in Roots where Kunte Kinte is forced to accept that his new name will be “Toby” upon hearing that Michael Vick had actually thanked NFL commissioner Pete Goodell for reinstating him into the NFL after a 6 game suspension due to a dog fighting conviction.

As you might have read, I didn’t think Vick should have done a day in jail or spent a penny in fines because the dogs he fought were, after all, his dogs. Feel free to disagree, but for my money, the only contrary argument I’ll even entertain must come from a complete vegan (that includes fish) who opposes pet ownership on the grounds that all God’s creatures are born free.

We all know, however, this won’t be the case. The most vocal of Vick’s critics will surely be the guy pulling out of the McDonald’s parking lot with a McChicken for wifey, a Double Quarterpounder for himself and Spot chained up in the rain to a spike in the yard.

This guy’ll go to one of Vick’s games, order a bratwurst and curse Vick as an animal killer through a mouth full of dead meat.

Meanwhile, this guy-

has been accused of pulling a “Kobe” on a woman in a hotel room.

Two-time NFL champion and Super Bowl 43 MVP, Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback Ben Roethlisberger allegedly raped a female hotel employee in Lake Tahoe, Nevada who was, in her words, “lured” into his room to fix his television set.

Roethlisberger’s alleged parting quote upon completing the deed was “If anyone asks you, you fixed my television. Now go!”

Roethlisberger hasn’t been suspended by the NFL nor should we expect him to be. He’s facing “allegations” and that’s the key word. These “allegations” are also coming from a woman-and as anyone knows, in America, if you’ve got enough money and your last name isn’t Tyson, you can do anything you want to women, including; make them fight.

Maybe that’s where Vick went wrong. He picked the wrong combatants.

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