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A new day has brought forth a new story about another paranoid White man getting in to trouble. Today’s fool-of-the-day honors goes to Tennessee State Rep. Kelly Keisling, who — a Republican obviously — made headlines for forwarding a conspiracy theory about President Barack Obama from his government-issued e-mail.

No, really.

The conspiracy in question involves a wacky theory that the president is planning to stage a fake assassination attempt in order to stop the 2012 election from happening.

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Yes, despite a new Quinnipiac University/CBS News/New York Times poll that shows President Obama hitting the key 50 percent mark against Mitt Romney among likely voters in Florida, Ohio, and Pennsylvania, in spite of Mitt Romney making a fool of himself abroad and awaiting heavy scrutiny over a new tax plan that would raise taxes on 95 percent of the country — both of which make it even less likely for him to win in November, Kelly Keisling’s e-mail chain says that President Obama needs to fake his death in order to avoid an election with Romney.

It gets better: the theory also alleges that Obama is planning to declare martial law too.

The conspiracy theory began by way of  an article written by Doug Hammon that was posted on CanadaFreePress.com.

Some of the accusations include:

According to my source, there is talk among the highest levels of the uppermost echelon of the Department of Homeland Security, which he describes as effectively under the control of Barack Hussein Obama.

During this call, he said that the DHS is actively preparing for massive social unrest inside the United States. He then corrected himself, stating that “a civil war” is the more appropriate term. Certain elements of the government are not only expecting and preparing for it, they are actually facilitating it,” stated my source.

The DHS takes their marching orders from the Obama administration, from Obama himself, but mostly from his unappointed czars. And Jarrett, especially Valerie Jarrett. Don’t think for a minute that the administration is doing anything to stabilize events in the U.S. They are revolutionaries, and revolutionaries thrive on chaos, he added.

I’m assuming his source grew up on a diet of crayons and Coca Cola cans. It’d be better if this plot included a snorkel and Will Smith, but maybe the guy had a word count. Although Keisling didn’t pen this work of fiction, he made sure that it was sent out.

The Huffington Post reports:

Keisling’s assistant, Frankie Anderson, confirmed that the e-mail was sent “at Keisling’s request” from a state account under the name of Holt Whitt, who is identified in the e-mail as Keisling’s assistant. Anderson said he is filling in for Whitt.

Anderson said that Keisling did not offer an explanation for why he wanted the e-mail sent. It went to residents across the 38th district, which includes Clay, Jackson, Pickett and Scott Counties, along with part of Anderson County. Keisling has not returned messages left at his Byrdstown insurance office, and there was no answer at his home.

Janet Moore, one of the recipients of Keisling’s e-mail, said she called the lawmaker Tuesday morning to express her disagreement with his decision to send the e-mail. Moore, who lives in an adjoining legislative district in rural Tennessee, told HuffPost that Keisling told her that the rumor was “pretty ridiculous, isn’t it?”

When she asked Keisling why he sent the e-mail, if he found it ridiculous, she said that Keisling told her, ‘I wouldn’t put anything past anybody.’

So he thinks the conspiracy theory is “ridiculous,” but he “wouldn’t put anything past anybody” and sent it to his constituents? Genius thy name is not Kelly Keisling.

Keisling is now apologizing for his actions albeit through a Republican spokesperson:

Earlier this week, I forwarded an e-mail from my legislative office that should not have been sent out. The message was inappropriate for distribution. I regret the error and pledge to be more cautious regarding the information distributed from my office in the future.

No, that’s not good enough.

First, he owes the president an apology. Second, he owes his constituents an “I’m sorry” that comes out of his own mouth. Ditto to the unfortunate folks on his e-mail list. Next, he deserves some kind of disciplinary action for engaging in political lunacy via the state of Tennessee’s computer system. Lastly, when are we going to install some kind of mental health exam for government workers?

If people want to talk about the Illuminati and Satan forming a gang with Jay-Z to take over the world on YouTube, whatever. Be as insane as you want to be on the comments section of a given web page. You shouldn’t have that privilege as an elected official, though. Certainly not through government-issued e-mail accounts. Not now. Not ever.

Sound off!

Michael Arceneaux is a Houston-bred, Howard-educated writer and blogger. You can read more of his work on his site, The Cynical Ones. Follow him on Twitter: @youngsinick

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