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To all of my sophistiratchet sistas, Happy Valentine’s Day!

And thank you to all of the Black and proud to be sophisticated and ratchet women on Twitter, Instagram, and everywhere else on these Internet streets for showing a brotha some love for the sophistiratchet article I wrote back in November, where I outlined my description of the perfect woman. I am now accepting applications (or Sophisti-rachetcations) from women wishing to be my future ratchet boo mama.

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In summary, last time I wrote that a sophistiratchet woman has to be as apt at working the pole as she is the boardroom. Her acumen for dissecting the intellectual nuances of W.E.B. Du Bois‘ “The Soul’s Of Black Folk” must be equally effective in assessing the “life-lessons” of “Real Housewives of Atlanta.” (Let’s call her a late-night ghetto-tologist.)

And while her temperament must be that of a Nobel Peace Prize Laureate, her resolve to protect her man must be akin to one of those Black chicks on “Flava of Love.” (Like that time Saaphyri went HAM on that White chick over ownership of a bed.)

Watch it here:

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So, let’s get to it!

The questions below will allow me to ascertain your cultural, intellectual, spiritual, and physical fitness to be my future Sophisti-tine. Please answer all questions honestly! Applications will be taken on a rolling basis.

Facebook Profile Name: Instagram me your recent photo. (Note: The operative word is recent. Don’t send me some photo from two years ago, when you looked like Kerry Washington, but when we meet up you look like “Precious.”)

4) Finish the caption in the meme below. (email me the meme at

Thank you, ladies! Can’t want to start reading your applications!

NOTE: Church of Ratchet reference was not mine. Jonathan Hailey, Assistant Editor at The Urban Daily, gets credit for that.