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So I’m watching some cable news network; I can’t even remember which one; and the news lady’s all like, “Next, we’re gonna break down Obama’s ‘swagga’!”

And I’m like, “OH MY GOD!!! That’s THREE! They’ve mutilated another word! When will it end???”

Now, anybody who’s taken even a day of French class knows that each subject is either masculine or feminine. For the masculine subject, the preface of ‘le’ is used; for the feminine, the prefix is ‘la’. For example, ‘the man’ in French would appear as ‘le homme’, while ‘the woman’ would appear as ‘la femme’.

In this context, when we look at the word ‘swagga’, which is given to us as some sort of weakened, Ebonics version of the word “swagger”, then also add for our consideration the word ‘gangsta’ and it’s real word derivative ‘gangster’, we notice a disturbing trend. And I’ve gotta wonder, is it us that’s doing it? Are we intentionally feminizing ourselves? Because that’s what’s happening! By dropping the ‘r’ entirely then swapping out the masculine ‘e’ and replacing it with an ‘a’ in each case we’re turning ourselves into an entire race of women!

Now, there’s nothing wrong with women; unless they’ve got penises-and many of us do!

And of course, I blame it all on what we allowed to happen to the N-Word. The mighty, powerful N-word once meant one thing-and one thing only. And now at this pivotal moment in history when, if anything, we should have become exclusive about the word, we’ve allowed anybody to claim ownership by letting the masculine ‘er’ get chopped off to be replaced by the generic ‘a’.

There was a time when if you had your eyes closed and you heard the N-word, by the time you opened your eyes, you expected to see an angry Black male. Now, if you’ve got your eyes closed and you hear the N-word, by the time you open them, you just might see a laughing Asian schoolgirl!

It’s ridiculous!

So holla at me. Am I the only one that’s pissed at this? I swear, because I cling so stubbornly to the N-word (it’s my favorite, you know), sometimes I feel like a longtime home owner in a neighborhood that’s rapidly gentrifying. My new neighbors used to laugh at me and tell me that where I live is a slum. And now that they’ve run the majority of my old neighbors out (who’ve moved from ‘Negro’, to ‘Colored’, to ‘Black’ to ‘African-American’) they’re stomping around this place like they own it!