OK, we all know that MAGA Land has been having a rough go of it the last month or so. The “red wave” they were hoping for after the 2022 midterm election turned out to be more of a purple puddle. Republicans had failed to achieve a Senate majority even before their great Black-but-white-adjacent hope Herschel Walker was defeated by incumbent Sen. Raphael Warnock. And Donald Trump continues to prove himself to be a burden on the GOP rather than its orange Crush-tinted savior.
I’m not saying definitively that all of this has anything to do with why conservatives are so salty that Brittney Griner was finally released from imprisonment in Russia in exchange for convicted Russian Arms dealer Viktor Bout, I’m just saying Griner’s freedom appears to be the cherry on top of a MAGA white tears sundae.
MORE: How Come All Americans Aren’t Happy Brittney Griner Was Freed From A Russian Prison?
Anyway, of all the abysmal takes right-wingers have expressed regarding Griner’s release, the one that should at least be in contention for most absurd was that of former gubernatorial candidate for Arizona, Kari Lake.
During a sit down with bigot-friendly YouTuber Steven Crowder—the guy who recently mocked the violent death of Trayvon Martin—Lake took full-frontal caucasity to a whole new level when she pretended to put herself in Griner’s shoes and claimed she would have opted to stay locked up in Russia rather than be traded for Bout.
Lake began by admitting she had no idea the trade had even happened until Crowder asked her about it. Then she immediately speculated that Trump would have done a better job in negotiations for the trade she was literally just made aware of.
First of all, it’s safe to say Trump would have sat on his gluteus anti-Blaximus and done nothing about Griner considering the fact that he once called her a “potentially spoiled person” who was “loaded up with drugs” when she was arrested in Russia when, in reality, Griner was caught with a minuscule amount of hashish oil.
Secondly, Lake couldn’t possibly be talking about the same former president who recently advocated for suspending the U.S. constitution all because he still can’t admit he lost an election from two years ago. (Actually, that isn’t too surprising since Lake is also claiming without evidence that her run for governor was also possibly stolen from her.)
Lastly, are we all just forgetting Trump’s flip-floppy stance on Otto Warmbier, the American student who died shortly after being released from imprisonment in North Korea?
But then Lake went on to be even more ridiculous.
After passively acknowledging that “the conditions were obviously horrible” regarding Griner’s imprisonment, Lake made this claim: “If you told me, we’re going to release you for this guy, I would maybe say, ‘you know what? Let me stay a little bit longer, keep working on that negotiation. Let’s see if we can find something a little bit more level.'”
Obviously, there is nothing about Kari lake that doesn’t suggest she would go full Tekashi 6ix9ine on GOP Jesus to get out of spending a single day in county lockup for committing a victimless crime. But sure, it’s plausible to believe Lake would have opted to say locked up and away from her family after being imprisoned in Russia for 10 months and facing the possibility of spending the next nine years in a penal colony with a reputation for harsh working conditions and brutally inhumane treatment.
I’m pretty sure Lake would have folded like a “vote for Kari Lake” campaign sign if, after spending two hours in a Russian prison, she heard she might be exchanged for Osama bin Laden’s ghost, so I’m going to need her to stop fronting like she’d be Nelson MAGA-dela if she were in Griner’s position.
Griner’s situation is unimaginable to anyone who has not been through what the WNBA star has endured, and it is the height of un-earned arrogance to suggest otherwise.
Brittney Griner’s Release: How Did It Even Happen?
Why Brittney Griner Cut Off Her Signature Locs In Russin Prison
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