In keeping up with the news every day, you’re bound to come across some pretty crazy headlines. But every once and a while here at NewsOne, we stumble upon a story that sounds so absurd, so completely contrary to our understanding of reality in the universe, that we pause and say, “Wait, you’ve got to be kidding me. There’s no way that actually happened.”
To celebrate April Fool’s Day, here are the top ten 100% true stories that sound like they have to be jokes:
At this point, pretty much anything RNC Chairman Michael Steel does or says sounds like some sort of joke. But this epic display of coonery at the most high-profile level of politics seemed too ridiculous to be true … until we saw the photographic evidence.
In today’s other headlines from Opposite World, Popeye’s Chicken Releases A Guide To Healthy Eating, Lil Wayne Holds Summit On Effective Contraceptive Use, and Up Is Down.
GALLERY: Top Newsmakers
Part of what makes this story sound like it can’t be true is plain old wishful thinking: The world would be a better place if this sort of thing just didn’t happen.
Either those “sin taxes” on vices like cigarettes and alcohol have gotten way out of hand, or this story is a serious reminder to watch out for faulty credit card machines.
What does this 911 call even sound like? “Hello, police? I’d like to report a crime in progress. I asked these kids repeatedly if they’d like to Super-Size their meals for $.50 extra, and they just kept saying ‘I’m about a dollar menu/what the f#&% is 50 cents?’ Please send a squad car right away.”
We know the justice system can be harsh on Black criminals, but doesn’t an actual crime have to be committed before you disproportionately punish someone?
There’s no reason to think this story is anything but a joke. Why would this ever happen in someone’s imagination, let alone in reality?
Of course this sounds like a joke, at least for those of us who were still holding on to some faith in humanity. No one wants to believe that 12 people (the one man and his 11 baby-mamas) could possibly be that stupid that many times.
Since everyone knows that Rush is a well-documented racist, no remotely sane Black person can seriously be calling him a hero, right? Right!?
Witnesses described the thief as having shouted, “They’re after me lucky charms!” as he fled the scene with police in pursuit.