On Saturday, a pack of male melanin-nots took to the streets of Washington D.C. to stage a demonstration. What were they protesting against? Who knows? When Black people protest things we’re typically specific in our cause. We protest police brutality incidents involving Black civilians. We protest when media and law enforcement are ignoring incidents of racial injustice. We protest when racial abusers get “not guilty” verdicts in court.
But white people’s protests are always ambiguous in terms of the specific cause—all we ever know is white people are angry despite their privilege. They’re always running with some kind of “taking back our country” narrative that only other white people understand while the rest of us are still looking at a very much white-dominated society begging the question: Take it back from what?
Anyway, you might remember the white nationalist group Patriot Front. It’s one of several groups of MAGA-fied white men who carried tiki torches through the streets—presumably, because the arts and KKKrafts store ran out of mini crosses—during the deadly “Unite the Right” rally in Charlottesville, Virginia, in 2017. Well, on Saturday, the group whose members were dressed in khaki pants, dark blue jackets, baseball caps and white masks like they were modeling the Ku Klux Klan’s new clothing line from The Gap, marched in front of the Lincoln memorial chanting “reclaim America.”
Insider reported that the group of more than 100 men who likely think nooses make great Christmas tree ornaments were carrying flags, shields and a banner that read “victory or death,” because, apparently, they didn’t think the last season of Game of Thrones was bad enough and were disappointed that House Neo-Nazi never fought to reclaim King’s Landing.
But seriously, “reclaim America” from who? Was there some massive slave uprising in 2020 that I wasn’t told about? Is that how we got Juneteenth? Have the Indigeousous finally hit the colonizers back causing a Trail of White Tears? Did Mexico take back Texas?
According to the Daily Beast, the group’s leader, Thomas Rousseau, gave a speech that might give us a little insight into what this march was all about.
“Our demonstrations are an exhibition of our unified capability to organize, to show our strength,” Rousseau said. “Not as brawlers or public nuisances, but as men capable of illustrating a message and seeking an America that more closely resembles the interests of its true people.”
Listen: I’m no expert in deciphering caucazoidian dialects, but it really seems like these people are looking to make America white again. It’s not enough for them that white people still represent this country’s largest racial group and that they still dominate the government, the wealthy and every aspect of American popular culture for TV and film to broadcasting. They’re still longing for a time when conservative values ruled the electorate, the negroes knew their place was under a white man’s heel, and the brown people knew their place was on the other side of the borders lines white Americans mostly drew.
Insider noted that “according to The Anti-Defamation League, Patriot Front members believe that their ancestors conquered America and bequeathed it” and that the group “espouses “racism, anti-Semitism, and intolerance under the guise of preserving the ethnic and cultural origins of their European ancestors.” (And honestly, there isn’t much of a “guise.”)
Anyway, the group was met with boos from bystanders and at the end of the Khaki Klad Klan demonstration, dozens of them were left stranded in the cold because their *checks notes* U-Haul wasn’t big enough to carry all of them home so it had to make several trips.
First of all: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA!
Second of all: What kind of janky, Great Value demonstration was this? These people couldn’t afford a bus or at least a few Uber rides so they stuffed themselves into a U-Haul and unloaded themselves into the streets of D.C. like some kind of white supremacist Drop Squad?
What the hell is wrong with these people?