Rumors have been swirling around regarding a Game of Groans battle happening in the state appropriately shaped like America’s diseased dong, Florida. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Dammit, if Rick Ross and Flo Rida don’t stop trippin’…” But no, we’re not talking about rap beef here, we’re talking about the alleged MAGA beef brewing between former commander-in-twice-impeached Donald Trump and former headrest for Trump’s Tang-flavored hind parts Gov. Ron DeSantis.
As the New York Times put it: “Gov. Ron DeSantis, a man Mr. Trump believes he put on the map, has been acting far less like an acolyte and more like a future competitor, Mr. Trump complains.”
“I wonder why the guy won’t say he won’t run against me,” Trump has said to several associates and advisors, who spoke to the Times on the condition of anonymity. He also reportedly said DeSantis pledging not to quarrel with the head QMoron in charge in 2024 would be “the magic words.”
As for Trump boasting that he put DeSantis on the map, he reportedly said, “Look, I helped Ron DeSantis at a level that nobody’s ever seen before.”
Let’s just pause for a second to acknowledge how wild the GOP is right now. Never in my life have I seen an ex-president who lost his bid for reelection continue to have a stranglehold on the Republican party this long after he’s been out of office. And it’s the GOP’s own fault. I’m sure there are plenty of Republicans who are tired of being the dummy party appealing to dummy America. But Republicans have been riding the anti-intellectualism train since the popularity of former President Barack Obama caused them to get desperate enough to think Sarah Palin was a viable response. (Spoiler alert: She wasn’t.)
But with Trump came the normalization of blatant, easily-disprovable lies being accepted by the party without question, and now the party has dumbed itself so far down for its constituency full of racists, idiots and racist idiots that there appears to be no turning back and the party’s future seems to lie in the hands of whoever is more likely to turn America into a real-life Idiocracy.
And that’s where DeSantis comes in.
The Times noted that the Dumb and Dumber spat came into public view recently when DeSantis “refused to reveal his full Covid vaccination history,” and “the former president publicly acknowledged he had received a booster.”
“The answer is ‘Yes,’ but they don’t want to say it, because they’re gutless,” Trump this month. “You got to say it—whether you had it or not, say it.”
Trump only actually referred to “politicians,” but everyone’s pretty sure he was talking about DeSantis—and DeSantis appeared to think so, too.
DeSantis shot back at Trump Friday during an interview on the conservative podcast Ruthless saying that he regrets not being louder and wronger than he already was about COVID lockdowns in 2020.
“Knowing now what I know then, if that was a threat earlier, I would have been much louder,” DeSantis said, adding that he would have been “telling Trump ‘stop the flights from China’” instead of “locking down the country.”
Let me put this a different way: Despite the demonstrable fact that Trump’s handling of the coronavirus pandemic was abysmal and he waited way too late to take it seriously and start implementing public health protocols including but not limited to lockdowns, DeSantis—who was equally abysmal in his handling of the crisis in his own state—is saying Trump was wrong for not doing the exact opposite of what the vast majority of virologists, immunologists and health experts were and still are saying to do.
And Trump, who downplayed the seriousness of the pandemic until his last day in office, is calling DeSantis and other Republicans “gutless” for being reluctant to reveal their vaccination status to the anti-vaxxer cult he spent the last year of his presidency egging on—the same cult he got booed by members of when he revealed that he was vaccinated.
Now, in the interest of clarity, Trump told reporters Wednesday that there’s no beef between him and DeSantis and that they actually have “a very good relationship,” according to the New York Post.
Still, don’t be surprised if come 2024, you see Trump going full Suge Knight on stage like: “Any MAGAts out there who want to be MAGAts and stay a delusional imbecile who doesn’t know anything about anything outside of what comes out of my butt hole-shaped lips, and doesn’t want to worry about the Florida governor being all in the videos and in the interviews dancing around getting a booster—come to Death R…I mean, vote for me.”