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Kyle Rittenhouse Trial Continues In Kenosha, WI

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Media heads better duck and hide because the killer who got away with killing people is looking to kill it in court against anyone who besmirches his good name by, well, calling him exactly what he is, apparently.

Recently, Kenosha killer Kyle Rittenhouse sat down with sexy M&M peep show connoisseur Tucker Carlson to talk about his list of politicians, celebs, and media organizations he plans to sue for what he describes as “lies” told about him after his acquittal.

“We’re looking at quite a few politicians, celebrities, athletes,” Rittenhouse said before specifically calling out Whoopi Goldberg and Cenk Uygur from the Young Turks.

“Whoopi Goldberg is on the list, she called me a murderer after I was acquitted by a jury of my peers. She went on to still say that,” he said. “And there’s others, don’t forget about Cenk from the Young Turks. He called me a murderer before the verdict and continues to call me a murderer.”


“Me and my team have decided to launch The Media Accountability Project as a tool to help fundraise and hold the media accountable for the lies they said and deal with them in court,” Rittenhouse said in promoting what sounds more like lawyers and a GoFundMe page than anything new, but whatever—I ain’t trying to get myself sued for calling Rittenhouse and his team a gaggle of wheel reinventors who don’t have actual ideas but sit in circle-jerk sessions where they whine a lot, come up with dumb sh** and call it an initiative.

Seriously though, as a media writer, I am shaking in my boots right now. I might need to scour any past stories I wrote about Rittenhouse to make sure I never called him a murderous crybaby George Zimmerman wannabe who carried an assault rifle because he can’t fight for sh**. What if I find myself in court for allegedly describing him crying during his testimony as a “display of dry-blubbering and mayo-choking.”

Anyway, several legal professionals and media personalities appear to think Rittenhouse’s threats of litigation are as toothless as his face was tearless on the witness stand—uh…allegedly. ALLEGEDLY, Rittenhouse. I said “allegedly,” so keep your deadly lawshoots—sorry, lawsuits away from me!

“Did someone call Rittenhouse a ‘convicted murderer’?” Adrienne Lawrence, an attorney, and host on The Young Turks media network tweeted, according to Newsweek. “Because, to my knowledge, you can be a murderer factually, even if you’re legally acquitted. An acquittal doesn’t change that one murdered another.”

“O.J. could sue for defamation because he maintains that he did not kill,” Lawrence continued. “Rittenhouse, however, admitted to killing; he simply claims it was legally justified, which a jury agreed with.”

Whew. I feel better now. As a news writer, I was trained not to call anyone a murderer unless they were convicted of murder because “murder” is a legal term that isn’t exactly interchangeable with “killer.” I still think I’m going to err on the side of caution and refrain from calling Rittenhouse a murder bag of murder juice who got away with his murderous ways because he had the completion for murderer protection—because if I said that, which I would never, it might get me sued.

Still, others agree with Lawrence.

“The courts have long established that calling somebody a ‘murderer’ is an opinion + a legal right, even after the person is found ‘not guilty.’ At that point, one can still call them a murderer, just not a ‘convicted murderer,'” former MSNBC anchor David Shuster tweeted. “Nobody has called Rittenhouse that. He has no case.”

Barbara McQuade, a University of Michigan law professor and former U.S attorney for the Eastern District of Michigan said, “A defamation case is unlikely to succeed here against any defendant,” Newsweek reported. “By inserting himself into the civil unrest in Kenosha, Rittenhouse voluntarily became a limited-purpose public figure, which subjects defamation claims against him to the actual malice standard.”

I don’t know, y’all. I think I’m still going to dodge potential litigation by not using my alliteration skills to call Rittenhouse a privileged pasty punk who purposely and premeditatedly pulled a popper and pumped bullets into protesters.

I also probably shouldn’t call him a clear and demonstrable murderer who we’re only still talking about because clear and demonstrable white supremacists have made the caucasified thug their new hero.

Fortunately, I know better and would never say such things.


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