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One thing about white conservatives: They don’t think racism exists until a Black person says something about white people.

That’s why porcelain-ated people across the right-wing-o-sphere currently have their Klan-taloons all in a bunch over “The View‘s” host, Sunny Hostin, comparing white Republican women to “roaches” in explaining that they vote against their self-interest by voting red.

“I read a poll just yesterday that white Republican suburban women are now going to vote Republican,” Hostin said. “It’s almost like roaches voting for Raid.”

So, Hostin made a simple analogy that suggested women shouldn’t be voting for a party that wants to legislate their uteruses and thwart equal pay efforts, and suddenly the same people who never had an issue with Black people being likened to slaves on the Democratic plantation got really upset.

I’m sorry, but these can’t possibly be the same white people who vehemently went to bat for Joe Rogan when he repeatedly used the N-word, referred to a Black neighborhood as the “Planet of the Apes” and described Black people from Africa as being “from the darkest place where they’re not wearing any clothes all day and they’ve developed all that melanin to protect themselves from the sun” while whitesplaining that only those people should even be considered Black. It would be inconceivable if these turned out to be the same color-redacted people who told Rogan he should stop apologizing for racism that is far more blatant than anything Hostin said.

It’s funny how Rogan became the Caucasian poster child for the “Save Racists From Cancel Culture” campaign, but suddenly “free speech” enthusiasts want Hostin fired.

In fact, why even stop at Rogan? Where was all the right-wing sour cream team outrage when the late-and-full-of-hate Rush Limbaugh spent his entire notable career saying racist sh*t? Where was the conservative fire and brimstone when Don Imus called Black women athletes “nappy-headed hoes?” What about when Imus’ former co-host, Bernard McGuirk, died recently and conservative America honored and grieved him all up and down Twitter with nary a mention of how he called those same Black women “some hard-core hoes” and likened them to “The Jigaboos vs. the Wannabes” from Spike Lee’s “School Daze?”

Not to mention Tucker Carlson—the Fox News host whose so racist ex-KKK grand wizard David Duke got mad at him for jacking his rhetoric. Did these people call for Carlson’s firing when he suggested that Black people die in car accidents disproportionately because police officers stopped pulling over Black drivers for fear of being called racist? No. How about when he brought a clear white supremacist on his show to explain that Black people are inferior to and jealous of white people? (Actually, I could write a whole book on Carlson’s white nationalist woes, but y’all get the point.)

Listen, I can go on and on into the bottomless pit of conservative hypocrisy when it comes to racially charged language. I could talk about how Republican Reps Marjorie Taylor Greene and Lauren Boebert both referred to Muslim congresswomen as the “Jihad Squad” or how dog-whistle racism is Donald Trump‘s love language, but instead, I’ll just offer a few alternatives to Hostin’s off-color-but-accurate analogy.

White women voting Republican is like dogs voting to strengthen the dog pound industrial complex.

It’s like cobwebs voting for more long-handle brooms.

It’s like rats launching a GoFundMe for a mouse trap manufacturer.

It’s like leeches voting in favor of an anti-blood-sucking bill.

It’s like crabs promoting a new seafood restaurant.

It’s like slugs voting for salt showers.

OK, that’s all I got.


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