A woman reportedly took to the social media platform, Reddit, to seek advice on how to handle a troubling situation within her family after alleging that her husband called their adopted Black daughter the N-word in a text message that she read on his phone while he was in another room. The woman, who is white, didn’t identify herself, her husband or her child by name, but explained the situation in an attempt to figure out her course of action.
“For background, my husband and I are both white, but we adopted our African American daughter 3 years ago when she was 2 years old due to fertility issues,” she began. “After deciding to adopt, we both ended up feeling great about our decision to help a child in need rather than bring a new child into the world.”
The woman went on to describe her husband as “the most loving, caring father” she had ever seen. That was, until, she went through his phone and saw that her husband had called their daughter a “little ni**er.”
The woman said her husband’s phone went off while he was in the shower, so she checked his lock screen to make sure it wasn’t anything urgent. “Have her start calling you master. Lol,” the alleged text said, according to the wife, who said she became angry because she thought her husband was giving a friend details about their sex life.
She then unlocked the phone, as her thumbprint is registered on the device. “My husband had only sent one text to his friend that day, and it read, ‘The little ni**er spilled juice everywhere today. I can’t catch a break. I at least made her clean it up though.’”
The woman later wrote, “I don’t know what to do. The texts were obviously in a joking manner, so is the best thing to just let this slide and never mention it? Does this represent his character in any way?”
She asked on the thread, “How should I go about bringing up this conversation?”
The woman received an abundant amount of feedback.
“I read your text messages, you called out daughter the ‘n’ word?” one person suggested.
Another said, “Regardless of what you do with your husband your daughter is in an unsafe environment and growing up in a home where someone jokingly or not calls her the N word when he’s mad is going to be brutal for her development.” The person then questioned if the woman has any Black friends and if she would tell them about what her husband said.
The person added, “As a woman, I’m sure you’ve been made to feel uncomfortable about certain things either in your workplace or in school just because of your gender – now think of living with that discomfort everyday and having it come from someone who is supposed to love and take care of you.”
The woman later shared in an alleged post that she had been “avoiding facing the truth because of all the implications involved.” She continued, “That man has been in my life for the past 11 years. I couldn’t imagine everything suddenly falling apart like this. Of course I didn’t want to believe it. But the overwhelming amount of comments condemning him for what he has done has started to make me realize the true magnitude of all of this.”
The woman added that she will be taking her daughter to a hotel and will stay there until their first therapy session.