You know how people have been saying for the past couple of decades that hip-hop is dead? Well, I’ve never believed that. Sure, there have been eras of hip-hop where I definitely thought the culture was on life support and its wife was considering pulling the plug for the insurance money—but I never thought it was dead. I always believed in hip-hop’s will to live and thrive.
Well, now it appears white conservatives are out to lynch it.
Meet MAGA rapper Kurt Jantz. (Yes, MAGA rappers are apparently a thing. One of them even tried to tackle Dave Chappelle that one time.)
Jantz is a right-wing white supremcee (see what I did there?) who goes by the stage name Forgiato Blow. (I would have suggested “Machine Gun Smelly,” “Vanilla Lice” or “MAGAmore,” but no one consults me for this kind of thing.)
When Bizzaro World Bubba Sparxxx isn’t recording leg-humping tributes to congressman and accused sex trafficker Matt Gaetz, he’s apparently taking the stage with the Proud Boys while performing the most seasonless, rhythm-deficient, mayo-dripping displays of hick-hop the world has ever seen.
I mean, just look at this nonsense.
Here, we have Jantz demonstrating everything anti-cultural appropriation advocates fear while a group of Proud Boys shows off their abject inability to even wave their arms to the beat. (“Wave your hands in the air like you’re trying to catch Trump’s hair!“)
And, of course, Jantz’s whip-hop routine is all about “blue lives matter.”
“If all lives matter, blue lives matter too—you gotta back the blue, you gotta back the blue,” Jantz can be heard rapping.
It should surprise no one that this suspected Insane Clown Posse reject is another dense dude-bro who thinks blue lives need protecting despite the “blue wall of silence,” the full backing of the justice system afforded to officers and the fact that crimes committed against cops typically carry harsher penalties than the same crimes committed against civilians. Cops are a protected class by default—they don’t need advocacy campaigns.
But it would be pointless to explain this to people like Dim Shady over here, who continued to bastardize hip-hop culture by rapping, “I so sick of the media trying to play with us/ ever since you got a mask, people want to hang on ya’.” (What does that even mean?)
Later in this pitiful display of bland bologna rap—which appears to have been recorded while Donald Trump was still in office based on some of the lyrics—Jantz rapped, “Let’s say a prayer for a minute/ the white, he Black, the brown—everyone we miss,” before accusing right-wing opponents of “trying to start a race war.”
Yeeeah, nah. Don’t try to turn this ultra-white nonsense into some rap version of “We Are the World” while performing for a white nationalist audience that hates brown immigrants, Black Lives Matter and critical race theory while adhering to the “Great Replacement Theory” that has been a staple in white supremacy for decades.
This would be embarrassing if white conservatives had any shame. Somebody come get Wack Harlow up out of here.
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