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"Candace" Hosted By Candace Owens

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In today’s episode of Conservatives Don’t Actually Know Things, WAPless boy wonder Ben Shapiro, Black Klans-maiden Candace Owens and some other righty whitey in a scruffy beard got together on stage where they shared lukewarm-at-best takes on people who are pro-choice. It’s unclear if this was taped before or after the overturning of Roe v Wade, but it was basically just a big loud-and-wrong-o-thon where the Three Stooges of MAGA miseducation shared strawman arguments, racist false equivalencies and, especially in Owens’ case, historical ignorance.

Content warning: Ben Shapiro’s high, nasally, nails-on-a-white-nationalist-chalkboard voice is extra annoying.

“Ayanna Pressley said today that the real problem of abortion today is that it’s going to disproportionately harm LGBTQ people,” Shapiro said. “And I thought to myself, ‘I’m going to need a chart on this one…I may not be an expert, I’m fairly certain that this is not going to primarily target gay men and lesbian women.”

So, I couldn’t find any quote from Rep. Ayanna Pressley saying abortion would disproportionately harm LGBTQ people, but there is a video where Pressley spoke on the House floor and mentioned LGBTQ people among the groups who fight for and need abortion care, but when she talks about who it disproportionately affects, she was talking about Black women.

But whether Shapiro was talking about that speech or not, his core issue appears to be that he thinks “gay men and lesbian women” are all who fall under the LGBTQ moniker, and he doesn’t seem to understand that people who have uteruses can get pregnant regardless of their gender identity or sexual orientation. (Of course, no one should be surprised at Shapiro’s limited knowledge of how sex works.)

Now, let’s move on to Owens, because, my sunken place God, this woman just really doesn’t know anything.

“Amy Schumer—this is exactly the same thing—she gave a statement about ‘this is exactly what the slaveholders wanted,’ and I was like, ‘I would like a further explanation as to what you mean…because there was no abortion happening when we had slaves.”

Before we get into all the ways Owens doesn’t know what the hell she’s talking about, I have just one question: Who TF is “we”?

You know Candace House NegrOwens is naturally opposed to identifying with her own Blackness when she casually includes herself as part of the institution that “had slaves.”

But besides that, anyone who has more than a remedial understanding of American history knows Owens is wrong. Not only did legal abortion exist in the U.S. during the slave trade, but the procedure was often performed by Black midwives.

Anyway, as the show of white obliviousness went on, the white guy in the beard erroneously compared the racist historic idea that enslaved people weren’t actual people to the scientifically factual idea that zygotes and embryos aren’t people. (Hint: Enslaved people were sentient beings who had lives, experiences, emotions, family, intelligence and wills to live while the unborn are, well, unborn.) Then Shapiro went on to show his fundamental misunderstanding of why people are calling anti-abortion laws racist.

“We’re racist because we want more Black babies being born?” he asked. No, you pale-and-pleasureless idiot, anti-abortion laws are racist because they disproportionately affect the body autonomy of Black women.

God, these people are stupid.


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