Trump To Deploy An 'Election Integrity Army' During Midterms

In today’s episode of Every Allegation Is A Confession — It’s The MAGA Way, President Donald Trump announced that he will deploy an “Election Integrity Army” to police election interference that does not exist, and protect voters from voter suppression committed by Democrats, as if it’s not Republicans who engage in such tactics every election cycle, because it’s the only way they can consistently win.

“Palestinian Chuck Schumer is hiring Eric Holder, famous for handing guns to Mexican cartels under the Barack Hussein Obama administration, as part of a Democrat-led ‘Election Integrity Group’ that will no doubt try to suppress Republican voters, and interfere in our Elections,” Trump wrote in a Sunday post his Truth Social platform. “Furthermore, Marc Elias, a terrible lawyer with a horrible track record, is also involved. This is the same disgusting individual who was responsible for the fake Russia dossier from a foreign nation to meddle in the 2016 Election, which I won in historic fashion. The Democrats are totally unhinged and we will not allow them to threaten the integrity of our Elections.

“During my Historic Election in 2024, when I won every single Swing State, and decisively won both the Electoral and Popular votes by wide margins, the Republicans had an Election Integrity Army in every single State to preserve the sanctity of each legal vote,” he continued. “We will be doing the same again in 2026, but it will be much bigger and stronger. All Americans should have their voices be heard by casting a vote. Be assured this Election will be fair!”

Look, I’ve never wanted to be a school teacher. I’m sure grading the tests and book reports of teenagers and preteens would drive me crazy. But every time I read a post authored by our cognitively questionable commander in chief, there’s a part of me that wants to break out a red marker and start going to town on correcting petty falsehoods, illogical statements, and outright lies. (I wouldn’t even bother with all the grammatical errors, because even in this highly unlikely hypothetical scenario, I’d choose to hold on to some of my sanity.)

So, just go ahead and imagine this next paragraph in written red…

House Minority Leader Chuck Schumer is a white man from Brooklyn, not a Palestinian from Palestine; Trump’s constant references to “Barack Hussein Obama” only highlight his obsession with a much better president, and his inability to write more than one or two sentences without being racist; The only reason any “Election Integrity Group'” is necessary at all is that Republicans keep lying about election fraud that virtually every study has shown is all but nonexistent; despite the nonexistence of widespread voter fraud, it is Republicans, not Democrats, who push voter suppression legislation based on the fiction that it does exist; a Republican-led investigation agreed with U.S. intelligence assessments that Russian interlopers interfered with the 2016 election, and Trump has been — as Rep. Jasmine Crockett once put it — “being Putin’s hoe” ever since, so there’s nothing “fake” about the allegations (which is why the administration’s allegations against the Obama administration have gone nowhere); the only “unhinged” elected officials who persistently “threaten the integrity of our Elections” are Trump and his loyalists who keep spreading thoroughly debunked claims that the 2020 election was rigged, which dozens of judges across lower courts, appellate courts and supreme courts ruled there was no evidence to support; Trump won the popular vote against Kamala Harris by roughly two million votes, which is hardly a “wide margin; and the Trump administration just recently spearheaded the Supreme Court case that disenfranchised Black voters by gutting the Voting Rights Act, so he doesn’t give a shit that “all Americans should have their voices be heard.”

Yeah — there’s just no way I could have been a teacher, especially if every student was as dim-witted and allergic to facts as our president.

At the end of the day, if Trump is planning to deploy an “Election Integrity Army” that is “much bigger and stronger” than the one he supposedly deployed in 2024, it would only be to bolster his election fraud propaganda and intimidate voters during the midterm elections, which are not projected to work out in Republicans’ favor. It’s the same reason Trump called for Republicans in Congress to “nationalize the voting.”

The GOP can’t win elections consistently without rigging the system as best as they can, and they accuse Democrats of doing the same in order to distract from that fact.

Sad.

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