Last week, we reported on the revelation that Republican Senate candidate Heschel Walker has a child that no one knew about and one whose life Walker has reportedly been absent from—which, of course, is only relevant because Walker has spent so much time repeating the absent Black father myth before his largely white audience. Well, since then, news of two more of Walker’s secret children has been revealed and we all have just one question: Has the news of Walker’s “that’s just my baby daddy” reveals finally caused his son that we knew about, Christian Walker, to finally be quiet?
Y’all do know about Christian, right? He’s the Walker apple that didn’t fall far from the sunken place tree and posts videos where he shows how little he understands about politics, laughs at his own jokes and revels in his own obnoxiousness for his followers, who I can only imagine are MAGA rubes who think Colonel Sanders was a Civil War veteran.
Anyway, Christian doesn’t appear to have posted one of his bargain basement Newsmax (which is Party City Fox News) videos since his father’s GOPaternity issues came to light. In fact, one of Christian’s last videos is one where he chided media mogul Nick Cannon for fathering multiple children.
“Nick Cannon is everything wrong with men in America,” Cristian shouted on the video. “Get home and raise your kids!”
I mean, don’t get me wrong—Herschel isn’t Nick. But neither are most of the men who Christian says are “everything wrong with men in America.” Sure, there are a lot of fathers with multiple kids from multiple mothers—but they’re not all starting their very own Star Wars clone armies one pregnancy at a time.
The point is, if men with kids they aren’t raising are what’s wrong with men in America, maybe it’s time that Christian had a father-and-son talk.
At the very least, it would give the world a break from listening to Christian squeal and flail about on camera while not knowing what he’s talking about.
Other issues Christian has waxed unpoetic about include, but certainly are not limited to: abortion, so-called “blue states” and gas prices.
“In order to get an abortion, you do have to get banged, so all the blue hair pro-choice protesters don’t need to worry about getting abortions,” Christian said.
But it was his video addressing gas prices that seemingly put Christian in the collective consciousness of pop culture. That was back in December when he whined about high gas prices while wearing a $1,200 designer hoodie in an episode that underscored the levels of his tone-deafness.
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