Conservative Twitter has exploded in an unholy baptism of white nationalist tears over the imminent criminal indictment of former President Donald Trump, who is accused of paying hush money to porn star Stormy Daniels so she wouldn’t screw up his 2016 presidential run by blabbing about a sexual encounter she had with Trump.
Over the weekend, the former commander-in-PornHub-relief took to social media to declare that he expects to be arrested on Tuesday of this week, and that was enough to get the MAGA Milaje all in a tizzy and ready to go to war for White-kanda.
Here’s Georgia congresswoman and tinfoil hat model Marjorie Taylor Greene calling for “every single Republican to go scorched earth” if Trump is arrested. (But don’t worry. If there’s another Koup Klux Klan event at a government building like on Jan. 6, Greene will undoubtedly deny that she had anything to do with inciting it. I mean, who told Antifa to go all “scorched earth” like that anyway?)
Here’s Rep. Matt Gaetz declaring that Trump did nothing illegal, which is like if Bill Cosby wore a “Justice for R. Kelly” t-shirt, considering Gaetz himself has been accused of sex trafficking and paying for sexual favors.
What I find hilarious is that Black people have been talking about the flaws in America’s racist justice system for literal centuries only to be scoffed at by white conservatives who chide us for “playing the victim.” Now, Trump might be arrested and they’re expecting Americans to come together to fight the injustice on behalf of the guy who catapulted the war against critical race theory, which is a study on racist systems such as the justice system. And this comes as Trump continues to arbitrarily call every Black prosecutor involved in his multiple corruption investigations racist. (Don’t hold your breath for Critical Republican Persecution Theory to be banned in schools across the country though.)
Here’s conservative talking head Jesse Kelly suggesting a tit-for-tat DA arrest war between Republicans and Democrats, which he apparently thinks is a better alternative than Trump supporters going to “a communist city to protest,” because they won’t get a pardon unless they’re a “rapper.” (Remember all of those Jan. 6 rioters Trump egged on and then later pardoned? Oh, wait…)
The “Free my MAGA Trump” crowd is also demanding Florida governor and “Who you gonna call? WOKE busters” advocate Ron DeSantis to publicly speak out against Trump’s pending arrest, which is knee-slappingly hilarious since Trump was on Truth Social not long ago essentially calling DeSantis a pedophile because the woke-sterminator will likely be running against him for the Republican presidential nomination in 2024.
Eventually, DeSantis did address the “rumors” of Trump’s arrest with some talking points about George Soros straight for the Book of Republican Idioms of Idiocracy.
“I have not seen any facts yet, and so I don’t know what’s gonna happen,” DeSantis reportedly said. “But I do know this, the Manhattan District Attorney is a Soros-funded prosecutor. And so he, like other Soros-funded prosecutors, they weaponize their office to impose a political agenda on society at the expense of the rule of law and public safety.”
“I don’t know any facts, but here’s my false reality-based assessment anyway” is a take, I guess.
Meanwhile, many conservatives, like Tesla CEO and human Trump butt plug Elon Musk, are predicting that a Trump arrest will galvanize the MAGA base and ensure Trump will resume getting his orange rust shavings all over the Oval Office furniture in 2024.
But if Republicans really believe the indictment will end in Trump’s reelection, then what the hell are they so mad about?
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