It appears that in the extended Karen-verse there exists a particular breed of Karen characterized by their penchant for misplacing their cell phones and blaming the first negro in sight and harassing said negro over said cell phone, which they later find somewhere other than their racial profiling victim’s person—and apparently these Karens are often found in California.
The first sighting of what I have dubbed the “Caucasi-T-Mobile” Karen variant came in the form of one Miya Ponsetto, the off-white woman who accused a Black teen of stealing her phone at a New York hotel only to find she had left it in her Uber. She was ultimately arrested in her natural habitat in southern Cali for tackling the teen after he and his father refused to bend to her entitlement and prove to her that the teen’s phone wasn’t, in fact, hers.
Then earlier this year, another loud, wrong and persistent Karen accused a Black man of stealing her phone at a Moreno Valley Walmart and followed him around the store, demanded that he empty his pockets and called security on the man who repeatedly told her he didn’t have her phone—which her son eventually found in her car.
Now, a new Karen, who has been dubbed “California Karen” (although that clearly isn’t specific enough) has been captured on camera accusing a Black man of stealing a phone she ended up finding *checks notes* in her purse.
According to Black Enterprise, this latest incident of Cingular Karen-mess took place at a Spencer’s at Sunrise Mall in Citrus Heights, which is right outside of Sacramento.
The video begins with a woman who appears to be the person recording the spectacle and who was with the Black man asking a Spencer’s employee, “Can you call it because she won’t let us call it?”
“Yeah, what’s the phone number?” the employee asked.
Phoneless Phiona started to give the employee her number but then stopped short to suggest that the Black man “could have turned the ringer off.”
“Oh my God!” the woman behind the camera replied. “What, do you want him to get f**king naked, lady?”
The employee can be heard trying to keep everyone calm while the Karen of the Metro PCS (Please, Carol, Stop) variety whines that she “really needs her phone back.”
“You want to pat him down?” the woman asked while the Black man said he was OK with her searching him and apparently, he had emptied out his pockets to show her he didn’t have her janky-a** phone.
So, I need to pause for a second to say that there is no way in mayo-lesian hell that I would ever empty out my pockets for anyone who didn’t have the authority to make me do so just because some crazy white woman convinced herself that I had stolen from her. Nah, seriously, I wish a Karen would.
Anyway, shortly after the accuser claimed that she “just stuck (her phone) right here,” and that the Black man “walked right behind me, and you took it,” the entire drama came to an abrupt end when the employee offered up his own phone so that she could call it herself and that’s when she finally discovered where the inanimate object had run off too.
“Is it in your purse, ma’am?” the Black man’s friend asks, to which Wireless Wendy responded by finally admitting that, yeah, it was in her damn purse the whole damn time.
“I’m sorry,” she said while visibly and rightfully embarrassed. “I apologize.”
“F**k off—no you are not!” the other woman shot back as AT&Tiffinay continued grovelling with contrition.
The crazy thing is that during this entire exchange, the accusatory Karen had been digging through her purse and was still unable to find the phone.
It’s almost as if she was too distracted by her own racism to concentrate on searching herself for her own property.